My Civic Duty

This weekend I have committed myself to learning more about the local candidates and propositions on the ballot. Admittedly, I don't know much about the State of Maryland yet, but I realize the local politics are just as important as national politics and in some instances more important. Upon the recommendation of a friend, I visited www.vote-smart.org and found that not only did I learn a lot about the candidates, I learned a lot about myself.

Although, I tend to vote democrat on a lot of positions, I am really more in the middle.

If I am truly being honest, I am against gay marriage. However, that doesn't mean I would like to amend the constitution to ban it. I guess that's why I differ with the hard line republicans. I definitely feel it is a personal issue and while I would never do it, I really don't have the right to interject myself into the lives of others. I think this issue should be left up to the states. I don't like the idea of businesses being forced to provide health care benefits for same-sex couples. That should be an individual decision of the business owner. I hate that it is compared to the civil rights struggles for blacks. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Not even close to the same thing. We may have common enemies, but surely it is not the same or even remotely comparable. I find that to be very insulting.

There's an interesting dialogue on why the black church takes such a hard line stance against gay marriage, considering our history. I think that despite what is shown on BET, a lot of blacks that grew up in the church were taught that homosexuality is wrong - bottom line. Also, there is still the belief out there that a person chooses to be gay. Hmmm, I don't know how I feel about that - I am not sure if it is Biology or a choice, but I am glad that is not my battle. So no, as an individual, I don't endorse gay marriage, but I would not to vote to amend the constitution to strip away rights.

As everyone knows, I am pro-choice. I think for me, that goes along with being compassionate towards the situations and needs of others. However, I absolulety oppose the idea of abortion being used as birth control and oppose using public funding for the procedure more than once.

I was very much opposed to war against insurgents. How ridiculous to invade another country in the name of "liberation" (the latest spin) and want to kill the people who oppose it.

I am concerned about education in this country. Why are so many states trying to partially fund education from gambling proceeds? That seems so twisted to me. This is where our money should be going. I don't even have kids, and I think more of our tax dollars should go here above the next nuclear weapon....

More to come

And You Are?

What gives you the right to tell me who I should and should not hang out with? I think it is presumptious of you to tell me that I should not be hanging out with people who I consider to be friends, simply because they are of a different race. You know it's ok with me that you feel that way - it was just the way you said it - almost as though you were offended by my choices.

You barely know me and let's face it, if you did, you would know that my best friends from high school were all white and I loved them like sisters. They have been there for me in ways that you never could or would. Yeah, I know, I was called an OREO, but I didn't care then, and I care even less now. I am who I am and I am fine with that.

Love is love and friendship is a gift - who cares what color the packaging is?

Unexpected Surprise

Tonight I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a long time. Someone who I have always thought was handsome, sweet, and smart. But our relationship has always been weird. Mixed signals, no signals - then nothing. I was really feeling him when we first met - I was like wowed by the fact that he was still single. He came to visit his brother in DC and the moment I began talking to him, I thought there was potential. Oh, there is one thing - he lives in LA. So we get in touch a little bit, then he disappeared. Then I went to LA and I saw him and it was like his interest reappeared. He got me so excited - he wanted to take a walk on the beach and show me around - you know that is definitely my flow, but he disappeared AGAIN! Like after the night we went to the movies, and talked the next day - he vanished. He later told me something came up, but it was just so weird. Everytime it gets to the point that I really become interested in him, he disappears.

So I saw him tonight, and he looked as good as ever. But this time there was no chemistry. I just couldn't allow myself to get excited over someone, who I know for sure is not going to be around. Talk about childhood flashbacks!

The rest of my evening was fantastic - went to a costume party - saw old friends - met a nice guy. It was fun, I enjoyed talking to him. I think we could be really good friends. It was good seeing HS and CJ again. I haven't seen them since the debacle. I am glad it was on a much happier occasion.

Happy for daylight savings time - I will still be running late tomorrow, though. What's left after you cut the heart out?

Weekly picks

I must say off the top, I am so proud of my JAGS! Way to go, beating INDY like that and taking the division lead. Good luck this week!


Arizona at Buffalo - my goodness let's go with AZ

Baltimore at Philadelphia, For the first time last week, Philly looked vulnerable, however, the Ravens still don't have much of an Offense, and I don't think their defense can score more points the Donovan and T.O. PHI

Cincinnati at Tennessee, - naturally I have to root against Tennessee, if CINCY plays with the same heart they had Monday night (which was quite impressive), then they will win. CINN

Detroit at Dallas, What's up with Dallas? I thought they'd be doing much better. Can someone tell me what really happened with Quincy? Detroit looked fantastic last week, but Dallas is overdue for a win. DAL

Green Bay at Washington - GB, all the way! Normally I would root for the skins, but if the election tie-ins are true, the have to lose or I will have to consider moving to Canada.

Indianapolis at Kansas City - Gotta go for my CHIEFS - this would be great for two reasons, First KC will win, which they desprately need to get back into the playoff hunt and secondly it will keep IND at least a half game back behind Jax.

Jacksonville at Houston - as always I have to go for my Jags. But this Houston team is not bad, I think maybe a little underrated, but still I believe in my Jags, and I feel they can take them. Go JAGS

N.Y. Giants at Minnesota - hmmm, this is tough. I like both teams for different reasons. But I really like Dante, so let's go with MINN

Atlanta at Denver - ATL, you shattered my faith by losing to KC that badly, don't get me wrong I was pulling for KC, but dang..., I truly hope you recover, because if you win this one, that helps KC in their division. ATL

Carolina at Seattle - Ever since the STL debacle, Seattle hasn't been the same, but Carolina has been abyssmal the entire season, so let's go with SEA.

New England at Pittsburgh - this should be an awsome game - I am never one to pull for either of these teams, but PITT, let's just stop this streak.

Oakland at San Diego - let's go with SD

San Francisco at Chicago - are you kidding me - this is what would have competed with game 7 of the world series and halloween? Geez, good thing you only have halloween and 500 other networks to worry about. hmmm - let's go with CHI

Miami at N.Y. Jets - no matter how bad Miami is, the games between these two are usually fanastic especially back in the Testaverde days - let's go with JETS

A little nervous

It's been awhile since I have seen you. I am a little nervous for some reason. We're just friends right? So it really shouldn't be a big deal. I am excited. Will you like my new haircut? Will you notice that I lost a pound or two? Will you wowed by my crazy halloween costume?

Punked Again 2

What a huge waste of time, time that I needed to sleep, to edit, to do anything but waste gas and energy. Have you no consideration for other people's time? It's bad enough you aren't paying me, but to waste my time on top of it. But guess what - that's over now. You may not ever learn to start on time, but it won't be my time that is wasted. You can be angry, you can be whatever you want to be - I don't care. It's obvious you have no regard for my feelings, so why should I care about yours? Today is the last day that will occur, so please don't ask for any more favors. In honor of myself, I will not continue a one-sided relationship.

The next time I do something for someone and they are late, they will be paying me.

Peace

Cycle of Love

It usually happens the same way for me everytime. There's the first encounter that leaves me obsessing about when the next time will be. I wait and hope and wait some more. Then the encounters start, slowly, gradually and it is so exciting - I love every minute, I sing with joy. Then the encounters become numerous - so much so that I get sick - to the point that if I experience it one more time, I will throw up. Why do you have to run a good thing into the ground. Time passes and in some cases I miss you - I can stomach you again. But my attention is captured by someone new and the obsession starts anew.

Have Mercy

Upon first glance, I thought he was cute. Then a few days went by without me seeing him, though I did think about him - a lot more than I usually would in these situations. Good lord, after seeing him yesterday... what a beautiful man. Thank you KG for bringing him to me. That smile, that hair.... not a crush, just admiration - a lot of admiration. I will do my part to make sure our paths cross again. And I will throw the girly shyness out the window (ok I am dreaming on that part) but I will do my best to not sound or act like an idiot....

Let's be honest, I haven't really completely gotten over the 7 year itch. I will probably always love him, but you know, we aren't together, so I am definitely looking and if something happens, well we'll see.

Punked Again

Why couldn't I have just said no! Now I have committed myself to doing things I have no interest in - and what's worse, is I really would prefer to be doing something else.

I am bitter - and I only have myself to blame. Maybe I will grow a spine and say NO the next time.

Sweep, Sweep!

Congrats to the BOSTON RED SOX. What a great series! I knew if you could just beat the Yankees, the rest was a formality. I was so happy, I cried ;)

Vive La Red Sox!

Bravo Boston Red Sox!

Only one more win to finally break the curse! I am thrilled - I only wish my childhood hero Wade Boggs could share in this moment (in my mind, he will always be a Red Sox baller).

I am so proud of this team - it took a lot of heart, guts and sheer determination to come back after being down 0-3 with the Yankees - that in itself made me shed tears of joy.

But winning the World Series - wow - Good Luck - I will be rooting for you!

Star Dish

TACKY, TACKY, TACKY! How tacky is it to plan a wedding and demand that service providers PAY you to have the privilege of working on your wedding? Not to mention that you could well afford to pay for your wedding yourself?

Star, Star, Star - I don't know how you got to where you are - but girl you are a mess. It's one thing to ask for free services (which is rough, since you already got oodles of money) It's is quite another to demand payment for bragging rights. You ain't all that.

I am happy for you that you are finally getting married. Though I hear speculation that your husband to be is gay....another story - maybe you can later ink a book deal about it and ask the writer to pay you for the story....

I know that being famous has its privileges and you can probably get most things just because of name recognition, but seriously.... you may even get people to go along with this insanity, but I ask you - have you no shame?

I could go on - but it would all be superficial disses on your appearance, lack of character, and etc. Hatorade on streroids....

Condescending Men

Why, why why? Men can be such idiots - and I am really just referring to the pseudo-macho, armchair quarterbacks, woman go get me a beer types.

My car was giving me a bit of difficulty. It reeked of what I thought was gas and it was so powerful it was giving me headaches. I noticed this started around the time that I got my oil changed, so I thought maybe they knocked something loose.

So my friend at work told me to check the oil first. So I went out to the car and popped the hood, and as soon as I did, I immediately saw the problem.... They forgot to put the oil cap back on!

But here's comes this older Caucasian man, who seemed surprised that I even knew how to pop the hood. I thought to myself, they still make you? He starts going on about someone forgot to put the cap on, blah blah blah, so he sees the cap and screws it on for me, while I am in the process of checking the oil. Apparently I didn't check it well enough for him, so he takes the napkin and the dipstick and lo and behold it looks exactly the same when he checks it. I had already determined that I needed to add oil....

But then he says, he's going to tell me what kind of oil to buy. ARRRGGGGHHHHH! I already know what kind of oil my car takes, but I am trying to be polite as I wait for him to read it off the oil cap. What makes it worse is he has the absolute nerve to read it to me and say, "Can you remember that?" I wanted to slug him. Then he goes on to say "that's why women need men around." I was so through! Since he was old, I was trying to remain respectful, but I really wanted to tell me to leave me alone.

In the course of this lopsided conversation, I noticed my coolant overflow tank was low and I just generally started checking my fluid levels.... He asked "how I knew how to do that"? Oh my god!

Hard to believe with all the complexity of making sure that the fluid level falls between the low and high line, that I would be able to grasp it! And even more amazing, I know that the green stuff is coolant and where the brake fluid and power steering fluid go and that wet blue stuff - windshield wiper fluid - amazing!

The funny thing is years ago, I changed my own oil a couple of times. I am by no means a car expert, but having an old car helps you learn about a lot of things....

When I got back with the oil, the guy was still here and in between gritted teeth I allowed him to check my oil again after I added a quart. I was so glad I started adding the oil before he could slow me down more.... geez.

Not my dream guy at all - can I get a guy who can do all that stuff, without the condescension please? I would rather do it myself and get my fingers dirty (which I hate), than to listen to mindless dribblings of a sexist pig.

Weekly picks

Geez, just when I write the Skins off, they go and win one! This will be a fun week. Darn you CBS for not showing a 1:00 game here..... I am all about the AFC.... This is an interesting week!


Atlanta at Kansas City - WOW - this week I can cheer for the Chiefs again. Play some defense, guys - ATL is tough - this is a heart pick - KC

Buffalo at Baltimore - What a boring game! Can Buffalo make it two in a row? Kinda doubt it, but what the heck! BUF

Chicago at Tampa Bay, - uh hmmm Chicago had no QB and TB sucks.... uh TB

Detroit at N.Y. Giants - I am on the Coughlin train NYG

Jacksonville at Indianapolis - Ya know I got to go for my homies - playing IND with their offense, but only Jax and the Pats held IND to 24 pts all year. Do that again and put up a few more and you get a W. Go Jags!

Philadelphia at Cleveland - Is there really any question? I know there is no such thing, but Philly looks unstoppable right now. PHI

San Diego at Carolina - Carolina has been looking rough lately - SD

St. Louis at Miami - STL

Tennessee at Minnesota - Well, I never root for Tennessee, but I really do think MINN will win. If Dante doesn't fumble, they will win BIG.

N.Y. Jets at New England - for crying out loud, can somebody please beat New England - I don't dig the PATS like I dig the Red Sox... Strangely, NE doesn't look as unbeatable as Philly does. Philly has been walloping people, NE barely wins... NYJ please.

Dallas at Green Bay - go Cowboys - you are long overdue for a win.

New Orleans at Oakland - tough choice.... N.O.

Seattle at Arizona - Seattle

Denver at Cincinnati - ahhh another boring game - well at least it won't get in the way of my work Monday night! let's go with.... DEN

Welcome to the 21st Century!

I finally got a cell phone that is capable of storing numbers! How amazing is that! It even has a speaker phone. I love it. You know it had to be drastic for me to go buy a phone... I literally broke my old one in two when I dropped it Wednesday. It wouldn't even power on,,,, maybe it was God's way of forcing me to catch up with the times.

Bravo!

Eyes of the Heart

This month, someone very close to me was featured in a nationwide magazine. It was about women whose appearance had changed dramatically in some way. I was touched as I read her story from her perspective. Although it was obvious to everyone, it was something we never really talked about. It must have been a very difficult transformation process - I am not sure I would handled it with the grace and strength that she did.

It may sound strange, but even as I witnessed this change, I didn't really see it. She was somewhat of an icon in my mind, someone I looked up to and idolized. I wanted to be like her in so many ways. She was and still is one of the most talented people I have known. And she has the most beautiful spirit - one of the sweetest people I know. I love her dearly. She was always so pretty to me even through her change in appearance.

The thing is, I don't know if I ever told her that. I look back and I can't remember if I did. I wonder if she thought I was insensitive, that I didn't care. That wasn't it at all. I think all I saw was her in total - not just the outer shell that strangers saw... I wish I could have understood, that I could have helped in some way. Could I really have been that dense? Perhaps my love for her blinded me to the obvious, so I couldn't understand why others didn't see the same person I saw.

Her story is so interesting, because her outward struggle with her identity mirrors so many people's inner struggle. As I read her story, although I couldn't identify with her exact situation, I could certainly relate to her thoughts.

In my eyes, she was always pretty - always like a shero to me. She was beautiful before, during and throughout her transformation. I think she is more beautiful now, because of her courage.

My Best Friend

I love her dearly. She is like a sister which is why she is driving me NUTS! She loves this guy, who in my humble opinion is a JERK and that's a nice term for him. She constantly makes excuses for his bad behavior. He has disrespected her in every way imaginable and yet she can't understand why he thinks he doesn't deserve her love. Huh? Who cares what he thinks? He only has time for her when it's convenient and lately that's becoming less and less and when I found about this other woman....

Why can't she see? I just want to scream. She is a beautiful woman -inside and out. She deserves so much more than that jerk could ever offer. She is tall,fit, smart and very pretty - men flock to her..... I just don't understand.

I wish she could see herself the way I see her. If she saw herself that way, there's no way she settle for some third rate crap like that. She deserves the best, but it is up to her to realize it, and there is nothing I can do about that.

Time to Live

Busy, busy, busy... haven't been able to manage my time well. Today was the first day this week that I didn't work - or really think about work of some sort. I did however hang out with co-workers but it was fun.

I went to the Rennaissance Festival and I had a really good time. We had a great hostess and tour guide. It was cool to hang out with EM - I never really see her after hours. There were a lot of people in costume, which was interesting. Wished EM would dress up, but she refused. I particularly enjoyed the Hack and Slash Comedy Swordshow - hilarious! They had actual jousting, which to me is a strange activity. One of the horses wasn't really with the program and was running all over the place - he even through the rider off. It was interesting, but I don't know if I can stomach watching hard-core jousting (I know - this from a woman who watches football all day long). They had a lot of cool shops there - the costumes were pretty pricey. Wasn't too crazy about the chicken on a stick and I definitely would not try the turkey legs - they looked gross, but the almonds were fantastic.

I was really impressed with Chau. She tried on a corset, something I didn't have the guts to do.... maybe I will one day, I would love to know what that would look like... though given the way I feel about bras, I doubt I would wear one for any given length of time.... I would have liked to see more of the shows, but Chau was tired and I was a little tired too.

Came home, took a nap. Went to look for sweaters.... Don't know what possessed me to go to the ghetto mall...needless to say I came up empty there, so I eventually found a couple somewhere else. They are kinda plain though, so perhaps I am having a twinge of remorse.

Wanted to go out, tonight, but was tired, ended up on the phone for most of the evening.

Gotta get back on some sort of normal schedule - I didn't get up until noon 2 days this week - which means I didn't get to the gym - UNCOOL! Work has been absolutely ridiculous lately, pulling long hours dealing mainly with one of the most irritating trouble prone projects ever. No one really seemed to know what was going on with it, the freelancer was jittery and a huge pain, the producer - don't even get me started on that.... and finally when things finally started to feel like they were on track, we had equipment failure - which meant we had to start over! At any rate hopefully it will be over soon, so I can go home at a decent hour.

On top of all of that, I have been cutting 2 weddings which has been... fun almost. Like my PC, my mac can be tempermental and there is never a good time for that. Hopefully I can have one done, next weekend and move on to the next.

My main goal is to sleep, exercise and eat something green. Oh, that hair appointment is in the works!

Just Friends

Ever had a somewhat platonic friend and you wondered why it never developed romantically? I have such a friend. He is a great guy. We get along as if we've known each other our entire lives, even though we've only known each other 4 years. We laugh together, play together and support each other. He's a sweetheart. We have a good time. I guess that if I didn't see him as just a friend, maybe there could be something there and vice versa.

There was a time when the conversation came up, but we were both concerned about not messing up our friendship. We didn't want things to become awkward.

So now we share our lives together as friends, pure and simple. He tells me about his love life and I listen, especially because I don't have one to speak of ;) We tell each other about our hopes, dreams - we talk politics, entertainment - you name it, we discuss it.....

But sometimes I wonder, what if?

What's In It For Me?

That has become a relevant question in my life now and I am starting to make decisions based on that question. Years ago, I would have thought that sounded selfish and "not nice", but since I have to manage my own interests, my perspective has changed.

So now, I am asking that question of my church ministry and even my membership there. I volunteer for the video ministry about once a month. Lately, it is with a sense of dread that I volunteer. Truthfully, I am not getting anything out of it. I have been trying to figure out it if I am just going through a phase or if I have truly outgrown it.

At the moment, I am having a difficult time trying to decipher how my presence there benefits me. I mean it would be nice to have better leadership, fully functional equipment and sharper camera people. Don't get me wrong, it has come a long way since I first started. We now have Video Toaster, which is so much better than before, but I don't fully know how to use it, many aspects of it are a mystery. We did have training sessions, but they were postponed before we got to the good stuff and now my schedule does not allow for me to go.

The church seems to want more and more video coverage for various services, but I don't see them passing out any checks. Don't they have any consideration for the non-staff people who serve? I now live about 45-hour away from there, so I am generally not willing to drive that far to direct a service that I have very little interest in and not even get gas money.....

That brings me to my next point. I haven't really had much interest in the services lately. I am not really into the youth services because obviously I am well past the age range, but also they do a lot of go-go stuff and as a non-DC native, I can't stand listening to it for more than 5 minutes at a time. We also in a way, have become like a mega church and at first that didn't bother me, but now it is frustrating. I am tired of people who don't really know me, trying to give me a sales pitch or trying to get something for nothing.

I think I like the idea of really getting to know people which seems a little easier in smaller venues.

Ministry can be very rewarding, but it can also be taxing. I hear a lot more about the ministers and leaders of the church than I want to hear sometimes. Ours has always been a somewhat divided ministry, so there's always a lot of talking behind people's back. WAY NOT COOL in my book, because I am the kind of person that will tell a person to their face what I think. No need to act like things are dandy, when they are not.... ahhh I am victim of my own reality.

I think my biggest issue is the leadership - just haven't been feeling nutured or had the opportunity to grow, so with that being said I will give it a little more thought and prayer.

But I am thinking that by 2005, I will not be there in that capacity if at all.

Weekly picks

Can I get more than half right this week? Geez. This week will be rough for me, because my 2 favorite teams are playing each other and they both desparately need to win.... I just hope it is a good game on both sides.


Carolina at Philadelphia: This will be a good one, I am going with Philly. Carolina's offense is suspect.

Cincinnati at Cleveland - Geez who knows? Let's go with Cinn

Green Bay at Detroit - Seems Detroit plays better on the road, but what the heck, I am going with them anyway?

Houston at Tennessee - Could they both lose? Arrggh. Well, I will go with the underdog - Go Houston

Kansas City at Jacksonville - Wow, my 2 teams. But as always, I am going for Jax.

Miami at Buffalo - Could Miami win one? Hmmm, maybe - but I don't think it will be today. Please take Ricky back and trade him and get some good draft picks or something. BUF

San Diego at Atlanta - San Diego has been winning - impressively. Hmmm - let's get on the SD bandwagon.

Seattle at New England - Seattle last week I knew you were my hope of the team that would stop this ridiculous NE streak. But after you let StL come back and push it to OT in 6 minutes and then win.... I mean how is that even possible. Weren't they down about 17 points? I hope you have learned to play the entire game.... SEA

San Francisco at N.Y. Jets - going with the NYJ

Washington at Chicago - I am trying not to give up on the Skins, but they just seem to find ways to beat themselves. They started off strong last week and then.....the offense lost it for them. Hmmm, going with the Bears.


Denver at Oakland - who knows - OAK

Pittsburgh at Dallas - potentially a very good game. I really like the rookie QB for Pitt and they got a running game back in Deuce. Still not a Cowher fan, but I think they will win. PITT

Minnesota at New Orleans - MINN

Tampa Bay at St. Louis - STL

The Post Office and Me

I don't know why we can't ever seem to hook up. I have the best of intentions, but you and me.... it's mysterious. I understand why you need to be a part of my life, but I just can't seem to make it work. You just aren't very convenient - the lines are too long, the hours not right, you're not even on the way to anywhere else good - there's always something that pushes me away.

Sadly, I need you to connect with friends in a more intimate way than email....and I also need you to connect with a couple a bill collectors which really doesn't add to your charm.

Perhaps I will make it to you tomorrow.

Time for Change

Today I suffered from one of the all time worst hair days in recent history. And what makes it worse is I didn't have the good sense to wear a hat. Because I am a little under the weather, I really had no business being out today, anyway, but I couldn't stand being in the house another moment, so it was off ---- to find a couple of sweaters. I didn't realize that my hair was a mess until I was already out and about. The front looked fine, but apparently I forgot about the back and it was a hot mess.... and I didn't even have a ponytail holder to save me! How embarrassing. So now, I must get it cut to save myself from any future embarassment.


What is it with sweaters this season? Why are so many off the shoulder? Arrrggghhh. Do I really have to explain why that makes no sense. And why are some paper thin? Yes, they are cute, but the functionality is lost. In addition, I don't really do turtlenecks. And of course they were everywhere. Because I have such a short neck, turtlenecks make me appear to not have a neck at all, and that is just not cute. So I am on the look out for cute, functional v-necks, scoopnecks and possible mock turtle stlyes. No horizontal stripes, nothing super long. Banana Republic had some nice stuff, but I am on a budget...so that was out.

The quest continues.

The Joy of Being Thirty and.... Looking Much Younger

"You're thirty? There's no way", she said as she inspected my ID. She gave me a once over and then glanced at the ID again. She gave it back to me and said, "You look so young"

Years ago, that would have upset me, but now I just love it. That is music to my ears..... Because the truth is, I do look young. I AM young, with a little bit of experience. It's true, I have noticed a couple of sublte changes, particularly with my metabolism, but overall I am in good shape and am working to maintain it.

I think I look better now than at any time in my life. Not because I have had surgery or have subscribed to a new beauty regimen. But it's confidence, the confidence of knowing that I am fine just the way I am. Yeah, thirty looks good on me.

Last year this time, I was so depressed.... because I was leaving the twenties behind. What a blessing in disguise. With that, I was leaving the drama behind. I decided to forgive myself for all the mistakes and lessons of my youth and innocence. And I decided that I would LIVE.

I realized that life isn't how I thought it would be, and that's ok - for now. Where's my convertible fully loaded beamer, my handsome and finacially stable, loving husband, where is my house with the white picket fence? Before, that would caused months of depression, now it is inspiration for change. So with each new day, new opportunities for change arrive.

Some things I can control, others I can not. So, now instead of waiting for a husband before I get a house, I am planning to buy my own. It may not be the huge single family house I'd always dreamed of, but it will be mine. My goal is that around this time next year, I will be moving in to my OWN place ;).

That's the beauty of thirty. It took me this long to figure out that things may not work out the way you want them to, but if there is a back up plan, some flexibility, you can still be happy.

Pull up to my Bumper

Is it wrong to judge people by their bumper stickers? I find myself making snap judgements about people simply by their bumper stickers. They obviously cared enough to place the thought on their car, so it must be be a defining characteristic of the person, right?

So when I see someone with some sort of pro-Bush bumper sticker, I automatically believe they are either narrow-minded, over-zealous right wingers, rednecks, cowboys, and/or just not completely human. These cars usually have some sort of huge American flag on them or a yellow ribbon ( which I have no problem with) that says "support the troops". I think the worse bumper sticker I saw was "10 out of 10 terrorists support John Kerry".

I have just found that most Bush supporters tend to be illogical and are moved by fear of a terrorist strike or are very rich and stand to gain a lot if he remains in office. Or far worse, they have some questionable religions beliefs - beliefs that are so strong, they are blinded to any other issues beyond gay marriage, abortion and for the really sophisticated.... stem cell research - that's about as deep as they get....that's a whole nuther blog.

I have also seen the Pro - Kerry bumper stickers, which always seem to comfort me. It lets me know that there are in fact people in this country that have a shred of common sense. My guess is, they care about the Middle class, health care, the environment, the economy, education, - you know the stuff that personally affects most of us. Now I am not a huge Kerry fan, yet. But after the debates, he is definitely winning me over. He is clearly more intelligent and articulate than the smirking one. Perhaps, my favorite bumper sticker is.... Bring Back Complete Sentences - Kerry/Edwards. Subtle, simple fantastic.

I don't have any bumper stickers on my car. I feel that they cheapen the look of the car and are overall pretty tacky, especially if the car is covered in them. They do make for entertaining driving, but as for my car, it will be sticker free. I did have a small "Jaguars" window adhesive on my last car, but that is as far as I am willing to go.

I will be happy when all this election business is over, I just hope I don't feel compelled to move to Canada (wouldn't want to use their "less than safe" prescription drugs).

Weekly picks

Results from Last Week
6-8 :(

Not so good, strange week, but all in all the Jags held their own out there, and even though they lost, I was proud of them.


Cleveland at Pittsburgh,
I hate to say it, I might have to go with PITT this time, they aren't that great, but with Tommy Maddox out, they may have a chance of winning, plus Cleveland has not ben impressive as I would have hoped

Detroit at Atlanta,
I don't think Detroit has an answer for VICK either. ATL

Miami at New England,

Sadly, I doubt Miami will break this ridiculous New England streak. NE

Minnesota at Houston,
Houston is playing tougher than I expected, but Minn is coming off a bye and I think their offense will be too much for the Texans. MINN

N.Y. Giants at Dallas - well, don't like much of anything that comes out of Texas these days, so I am going with NYG, baby.

Oakland at Indianapolis,
I hope Oakland wins, but I am sure it is lock for IND

Tampa Bay at New Orleans,

Dude, New Orleans. They are good for finding ways to lose, but not to Tampa Bay

Buffalo at N.Y. Jets, gotta take the J-E-T-S

Jacksonville at San Diego,

You know I am going my guys, all the way.... JAX

Arizona at San Francisco - the mathcup of the week..... seriously who cares (unless you like those teams) But I do like Green, so let's go with AZ

Carolina at Denver, Hmmm.... I think maybe Carolina, if Delhomme can get his act together - he's no Favre....

St. Louis at Seattle,

Haven't seen Seattle play all season, but I hear good things, so let's go with them.

Baltimore at Washington,

Can the Skins do me right and just win one???? PLEASE! Statistics have go to go in your favor. Portis, hold on to the ball dude. If you do, you will win.

Tennessee at Green Bay, Well, Ihave to go against the team I love to hate.... Go Packers :)

Help, My Car, My Car!

I have been told that at times I can be a little dramatic. Well, I have to chalk yesterday's episode up to one of my all time great performances. Except at the time, I really thought I was serious. So I went to the mall to kill some time before work. So I parked, went in, browsed, saw some cute stuff, but didn't make any purchases. Time to go to work, so I walk out to the parking garage and MY CAR IS NOT THERE! I know exactly where I parked, and there was another car parked in my spot, which could only mean one thing. SOMEBODY stole my car....again. So of course, I found security and started ranting about how my car is gone, and how I won't be able to get to work etc, and of course by now I am in tears. I called my friend, who immediately took off work to come pick me up and by the time I hung up the phone, I was hysterical.

Through all the tears and melodrama, a small voice told me to go up one level in the garage. So I did, and to my surprise, there my car was in the exact spot I thought it was a level below, sitting there untouched... I raced over to the car, just as security arrived. I was SO embarrassed, but never happier to see my car. They teased me a little, but they were really cool about it. They told me people do that quite often. What made it so bad, is that I was so ADAMANT, that my car was parked where I thought it was parked. SO all logic temporarily went out the window....

It actually turned out to be quite funny in retrospect :)

I Am American Dammit!

It happens almost everyday. Someone asks me "where are you from?" Depending on my mood, I say, "Florida" or "Missouri" or "from my mother's womb". In most instances, I say "Florida" and like clockwork I hear, "No, where are you REALLY from?" By now, I know that means that they were expecting me to name a country or an island rather than a U.S. State. So I say, I am American. Here's comes more questions....

"No way, really? or "Well, where are your parents from?" or my personal favorite "You shouldn't be ashamed of your heritage"

I am pegged for Somalian, Ethiopian, Indian, Carribean, Morrocan and various countries in West Africa..... and I would be proud of that, if in fact, I could trace my ancestry there.

But the truth is, by all rights, I am an AMERICAN mutt. My family came from the back woods of Alabama as far as I can trace. I am guessing before then, my ancestors were somewhere in West Africa, but who knows for sure? I wish I did.

I know that there is a little bit of Causacian mixed in (very little) and for everyone that wonders I am not PART INDIAN. I don't know why or how I have "good hair" or why I have orange undertones. That is how I was made. (Don't even get me started on the "good hair" thing).

There is a part of me that is scared to leave the States, because they may not let me back in.... perhaps I will have to work a little bit of that Southern charm to convince people that I am indeed American.....

e-harmony part 2

So I still haven't subsrcribed to e-harmony yet. Most of the matches they find for me are white men! I find that a little humorous. I am not opposed to dating outside of my race at all.

I know most of my black male friends are adamantly opposed to black women dating white men.....I know, I know, it goes back to slavery, blah, blah, blah....

I just wonder what I could have said to be compatible with more white men than black men? I don't have an idea mate as far as race goes, I guess I always thought I'd end up with an African- American man (emphasis on American).

I am a little biased towards nationality though. I prefer natural born Americans.... I mean I met a lot of cuties from other nations, but I am not sure if I have the desire to partially adapt a new culture. I am definitely unwilling to change my religion, which is my main reason for sticking with Americans.

I bet many of my matches are Bush loving Republicans..... how scary a thought to fully absorb. I hope not!

Weekly picks

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh
Hmmm, don't know what happened to Cincy last week. Maybe they got it together. I am going for the upset.
CIN

Indianapolis at Jacksonville,
As always, I have to root for my team. I am a little concerned about the pass defense, let's face it IND has one of the best Offenses in the league. If Jax can keep Manning in check , they may have a chance.

JAX

New England at Buffalo,
Hate to say it, but New England.... Is it just me or do they have a really easy schedule?

N.Y. Giants at Green Bay,
This is a tough one. I have been a little impressed, and by impressed, I mean surprised at the NY Giants. But they are in Green Bay.

GB

Oakland at Houston
Huh? One I definitely won't be watching.... let's go with ummm... Oakland


Philadelphia at Chicago,
Good game here. I think this will be a good match up. Maybe Philly's toughest challenge yet. But I think they will prevail.

PHI

Washington at Cleveland - geez, I am going out on a limb and saying the Skins get the victory here. It is tough call for sure, because ordinarily I would pick the Browns, but I have too many friends who are Skins fans :) and part of me hopes they win. They actually have the makings of a decent team, if they would just stop beating themselves.

Atlanta at Carolina - WOW! Good one. I want to check this one out. I want the Falcons to win, but I think CAR comes out on top.

New Orleans at Arizona - N.O.

Denver at Tampa Bay - hmmm, Denver

N.Y. Jets at Miami, NYJ

Tennessee at San Diego, - well I hate Tennessee more than I can say, as much as I would like for them to lose, I think their defense will keep San Diego in check. So I am begrudgingly picking TENN

St. Louis at San Francisco - ummm I don't know. Let's go with STL

Kansas City at Baltimore - this is painful to say, but less painful since I didn't spend $300 bucks on tickets. Baltimore will win - there is no chance of KC winning without defense....