Helter Skelter

So I figured it was time I write something, since I haven't written in awhile. So let's see...today I ran my first official 5K race. It was a great feeling to finish - because even though I never doubted for a moment that I would finish I got a nasty cramp in my calf and I did have thoughts of walking most of the way, but I kept moving albeit a little gingerly and I finished in 36 minutes. I am sure that that is slow to most people, but for me, I am just amazed at my progress, because I couldn't even imagine finishing or attempting a 5k a year ago. I was so excited that I signed up for the Race for the Cure 5K in 2 weeks. I am up to running about 10 miles or so a week, maybe a little more - it's somewhat therapeutic.

The thing is with all the physical activity, I am battling my long time nemesis - yes, my hair. Like what the heck? I have lost the battle this past week so I just gave in to the wild side. Getting up every morning to curl my hair only to have the curls fall out an hour later... So I've been sporting the wet look for the past two days which would be great if I didn't have a relaxer. I miss the curly fro during the summer months.

So I am still in denial about the relationship stuff. I am just still comfortable avoiding the inevitable right now, because I am trying to sort out some other stuff and I don't think I can deal with too many issues right now. My main thing is that we really are best friends and I am afraid of losing that.

The job is still tenuous - at least in my head. We are experiencing yet another organizational change and that may not be the best news for me personally. I was really upset when new guy approaches me and asks me how I would feel about going back to my old department (that I just left 6 weeks ago). He seemed to have the impression that I left because of my previous supervisor. He starts rambling about how I have the personality and skill set blah, blah, blah.... He didn't mention that he was going to named GM during the course of this conversation. I did tell him during this conversation that I was not interested in returning to my old department, but admittedly I was less than forthcoming since I was under the impression that he was only in charge of production and ops - which are not my departments. The conversation ended with him encouraging me to consider the possibility.

Um, wtf? I left because I have done my time. I did project management for 3 years and I have hated it for 3 years. Am I great at it? hell yeah - I don't need anyone else to validate my skill set. I could and should have been running the department, but that is not even on my radar screen because I have no interest in it. This guy has been at the company for 6 weeks and has had maybe 3 conversations with me (2 of which occurred when he was my client) and he wants to put me back in that hellhole? Perhaps I am overreacting. It was the way the events went down that was a bit of a concern - he strongly encourages me to consider going back and then he is announced as GM... was he asking me or telling me?

I plan to have a heart to heart with him. No disrespect - but I don't care how much the department is restructured it will still be project management and since that is not a desirable career path for me, I can't sit back and let someone else decide what is best for me.

So...it is family time - we are going to watch Little Miss Sunshine. Go Sox :) oh and Go Nats!

Creepy White Guys

Yesterday must have been the day where I wore the sign, "creepy white guys - please approach me." It happened twice in one day. I thought I lived in a relatively safe neighborhood with the occasional child molester smattered in between seemingly normal people. So I am at the bus stop rocking out with Dave Matthews on the ipod - just in my usual morning meditation mode and some creepy guys rolls up on me in his car asking, "Don't I know you from somewhere?" In my head, I am thinking, "hell nawl, I don't know you" I say politely, "no I don't believe so." He proceeds to have a conversation, but fortunately for me, the bus is coming - this gives me a bit of courage to say, "don't roll up on me like that" And then I hurry and get on the bus.

So then that evening, which was a little more distressing for me. I am on the bus and creepy white guy #2 gets on. The moment he got on, I noticed him and thought - "eww, child molester/stalker guy". So he sits diagonal from me and I feel him staring at me with his serial killer blue eyes. I try not to make eye contact, but I can sense that he is undressing me with his eyes and possibly figuring out which body parts will fit nicely in a ziploc bag after the assault occurs. A chill runs through me and I happen to glance in his direction and he is intently staring at me. He smiles and I acknowledge his existence and quickly turn away. Now I am worried. I hope his stop is before mine, but mine is coming up. What should I do? I don't want him to see me pull the bell...

So I wait, and then he rings the bell at guess which stop? Mine! Okay so maybe it's not so sinister since he couldn't have known that that was my stop. So I wait for him to get off and see what direction he is walking and then I get off... and run faster than I do at any of my jogging adventures... In heels and a hamstring pull (another story) - all the way home - probably about a 1/4 mile or so. I didn't stop until I was in the building - I did look back often to see where he was, but I kept running even when he was no longer in sight.

Who knew I could run that fast - I guess it was all pure adrenaline activated by my overactive imagination or survival instincts. At any rate, I hope this doesn't become a pattern.