I am a co-owner of my first condo! It seems so surreal, but it is a great feeling. Settlement was a little overwhelming - what with all the signature fun, but it was a good experience. We even got cash back which will go towards a couple of upgrades. I can't complain. God is good -we go more cash back than we thought! After work, we met briefly with a contractor and then hung out for awhile. It felt to be in a place knowing that it is yours!
In addition, I just got a nice raise - so I must say God is smiling on me right now!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Vive la VA
So i found a place! It's a condo in Arlington. Aside from filling out the masses of paperwork for the loan application and the Acorn program, we have alao entered the arena of picking out paint colors. I think at least for the moment I have averted the ol blue wall with the silver star in the middle (Cowboy colors). Ahhh, the delicate art of negotiation.
I love it though - they are installing hard wood floors now. I can't wait to see the finished product. I have never lived in a place with hardwood floors, so caring for them will be a learning expeience.
It seems with this and other life rites of passage, people ask the rudest questions. My favorite lately is how much did it cost? While I am not entirely uncomfortable with the question - I am particularly sensitive about it at work. I don't want people trying to figure out what I make or how I can afford my place. But even this question doesn't bother me - I have even told a few people. The questions that drive me insane are: when are you going to get married (when it's time) when are you going to have children (when it's time).
I guess I am in for a barrage of these types of questions as my family reunion is this weekend.,,, argghh
I love it though - they are installing hard wood floors now. I can't wait to see the finished product. I have never lived in a place with hardwood floors, so caring for them will be a learning expeience.
It seems with this and other life rites of passage, people ask the rudest questions. My favorite lately is how much did it cost? While I am not entirely uncomfortable with the question - I am particularly sensitive about it at work. I don't want people trying to figure out what I make or how I can afford my place. But even this question doesn't bother me - I have even told a few people. The questions that drive me insane are: when are you going to get married (when it's time) when are you going to have children (when it's time).
I guess I am in for a barrage of these types of questions as my family reunion is this weekend.,,, argghh
Monday, June 12, 2006
On the Hunt
So I have spent the past few weeks looking for a place. It has consumed my entire being - well almost. Outside of a fantastic trip to Ocean City, MD over Memorial Day Weekend, it has been my sole focus. I have gone through so many emotional changes during the process. It is just such a huge investmenr and it constantly makes me evaluate who I am and how I want my lifestyle to be.
The first phase I went through was sticker shock. Since I live in the DC Metro area, I halfway expected the prices to be high, but in the perspective of how much it would cost each month - it is just mind blowing. After recovering for the shock of it all, I got a realtor referred to me by a couple of my co-workers and I felt a little better after talking to him.
Second, I went through the fear stage - I am very concerned about this real estate bubble. It is defintely more of a buyers market now, than 6 months ago. A lot of sellers now are willing to help with closing and are offering some sort of re-decorating or other incentives. But what if the value drops dramatically after we purchase, then what? The prices are so high - I have been freaking... My mind is definitely in overdrive.
I got a pre-approval from Bank of America, but it seems contigent on the Acorn Housing program - www.acornhousing.org - which seems to be a great program for first time homebuyers. This weekend I attended the intake with my boyfriend, yes we are purchasing together, and it was a very good seminar. The only issue is...we are just over the income limit and that doesn't even include overtime (which we both get a lot of). Since we are over the income limit, in order to use the program, we have to buy in certain census track areas.
However, the places that I want to live are not in those areas, so I am pretty bummed. I really want to use the program because it offers below market interest rates and eliminates PMI. Eliminating PMI alone is worth it. I am hoping we can come up with a work-around.....so I don't have to exhaust my savings.
Tomorrow I will start the loan shopping process. I hate the idea of being told where I have to live. To be honest, I just haven't seen anything in that area that I like....arrghh.
House hunting really gives a lot of insight into who I am. I looked in several different areas and I learned a lot of myself in the process. For example, I think I prefer a condo over a house (because of the costs) mainly. But a lot of the townhouses I looked at were further out in my price range and the neighborhood were definitely composed of families with children. They were quiet and away from...everything. Perfect for raising a family- maybe not for two workaholics who have no children.
As for the city, that is just so expensive and parking is extra or you can do the get in where you fit in thing. That is not for me - I hate searching for parking - especially at my residence. A 1 bedroom is about the top of my price range in the city, so that too is out....
I have narrowed down my search to Alexandria or Shirlington. Shirlington is being revitalized so I like the idea of that - it is close to the city and there is a great bike trail nearby. If I can only get the financing worked out - we will be all set.
That's it for now,
The first phase I went through was sticker shock. Since I live in the DC Metro area, I halfway expected the prices to be high, but in the perspective of how much it would cost each month - it is just mind blowing. After recovering for the shock of it all, I got a realtor referred to me by a couple of my co-workers and I felt a little better after talking to him.
Second, I went through the fear stage - I am very concerned about this real estate bubble. It is defintely more of a buyers market now, than 6 months ago. A lot of sellers now are willing to help with closing and are offering some sort of re-decorating or other incentives. But what if the value drops dramatically after we purchase, then what? The prices are so high - I have been freaking... My mind is definitely in overdrive.
I got a pre-approval from Bank of America, but it seems contigent on the Acorn Housing program - www.acornhousing.org - which seems to be a great program for first time homebuyers. This weekend I attended the intake with my boyfriend, yes we are purchasing together, and it was a very good seminar. The only issue is...we are just over the income limit and that doesn't even include overtime (which we both get a lot of). Since we are over the income limit, in order to use the program, we have to buy in certain census track areas.
However, the places that I want to live are not in those areas, so I am pretty bummed. I really want to use the program because it offers below market interest rates and eliminates PMI. Eliminating PMI alone is worth it. I am hoping we can come up with a work-around.....so I don't have to exhaust my savings.
Tomorrow I will start the loan shopping process. I hate the idea of being told where I have to live. To be honest, I just haven't seen anything in that area that I like....arrghh.
House hunting really gives a lot of insight into who I am. I looked in several different areas and I learned a lot of myself in the process. For example, I think I prefer a condo over a house (because of the costs) mainly. But a lot of the townhouses I looked at were further out in my price range and the neighborhood were definitely composed of families with children. They were quiet and away from...everything. Perfect for raising a family- maybe not for two workaholics who have no children.
As for the city, that is just so expensive and parking is extra or you can do the get in where you fit in thing. That is not for me - I hate searching for parking - especially at my residence. A 1 bedroom is about the top of my price range in the city, so that too is out....
I have narrowed down my search to Alexandria or Shirlington. Shirlington is being revitalized so I like the idea of that - it is close to the city and there is a great bike trail nearby. If I can only get the financing worked out - we will be all set.
That's it for now,
Monday, May 15, 2006
Back in the Saddle
So I made a decision to go back into working for my church's multimedia ministry. I was hoping things had changed, but...it was more of some of the things that frustrated me before. All I ever wanted to do was operate the robotic camera, but the head of the ministry insists on me being a director. I don't dislike directing, but your show can only be as good as your crew, and as of right now we don't have the best camera operators, so it frustrates me. I have to tell them the same things over and over - it is really truly unbelievable that nothing sticks. Maybe I am missing something, but I can't understand why I have to tell a person everytime to focus their shot; i.e. don't expect me to take a blurry shot. Or to frame up their shot correctly - i.e please don't chop off people's heads - or leave too much headspace at the top of the shot. Basic camera stuff.
I am hoping it will get better - I just need to get back into the groove. Mainly I just want to have a good show without developing a migraine or cursing at church.
I am hoping it will get better - I just need to get back into the groove. Mainly I just want to have a good show without developing a migraine or cursing at church.
Peas and Carrots
We get along like peas and carrots. I love my sugar bear. Most of the time, I am the one buggin out. That whole "M" thing, eh I don't know how I feel about it. I think because I know so many people who have been married and divorced, I am just not too excited about it. I do want a ring though :) and I actually don't mind buying one for myself (after the house of course)
You know we all have little things that drives other people crazy, my biggest issue with him is that he doesn't know how to screw...the cap back onto the toothpaste. I demonstrated the action so he can see how it's done, but it still seems to be a daunting undertaking for him. I wonder if this trait will transfer over to the orange juice, and the milk...etc. Please dear God, I hope he knows how to seal a resealable bag - that may push me over the edge!
The good news is - that is my biggest complaint - which in the grand scheme of things and looking back on relationships' past, that would have been the smallest among numerous far more egregious complaints. So life is good.
You know we all have little things that drives other people crazy, my biggest issue with him is that he doesn't know how to screw...the cap back onto the toothpaste. I demonstrated the action so he can see how it's done, but it still seems to be a daunting undertaking for him. I wonder if this trait will transfer over to the orange juice, and the milk...etc. Please dear God, I hope he knows how to seal a resealable bag - that may push me over the edge!
The good news is - that is my biggest complaint - which in the grand scheme of things and looking back on relationships' past, that would have been the smallest among numerous far more egregious complaints. So life is good.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Do You Kiss Your Mama with that Mouth?
Today I did something that I am not proud of... For the first time in a long time, I flipped a bird at soemone while driving. It is not uncommon for me to get a little irritated when trying, but to actually stick up my middle finger is.... drastic. I can count on one hand the number of times in my life that I have done this and including today I would still have fingers left. At any rate, the driver was tailgating me and I just got really annoyed. I didn't intend on speeding up because there was a car in front of me about a car length ahead. This jerk pulls up on my bumper, so I gradually slow down. I couldn't get over, and I am not about to rear end the person in front of me. This guy wouldn't back off, instead he flashes he bright lights (it's broad daylight) and before I could stop it, my finger went up. I was livid, but as soon as I did it after that great moment of release, I felt ashamed. Not only was I coming back from church, I was singing gospel music and to make matters worse it's Mother's day. Mom would be proud....
Friday, April 28, 2006
Can't Live Without....
My DVR. I am so lost without it. I'd gotten so used to it, it is difficult now that I do not have it anymore. I'd record all my shows that I would miss during the week and even shows that I don't normally watch just out of curiosity. Now, I am missing things left and right because I can't figure out how ot program the stinkin' VCR. I always ended up recording channel 3 (HBO) or static or nothing at all! Argghh.
I guess in a way it is a good thing, I can be a lot more productive without TV bogging me down ;) Who knows what I could accomplish with an extra hour or so without the idiot box? Who am I kidding?
I guess in a way it is a good thing, I can be a lot more productive without TV bogging me down ;) Who knows what I could accomplish with an extra hour or so without the idiot box? Who am I kidding?
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Entitlement
I love him to death, but he is driving me insane! It's amazing how I have a few friends in my life who have a sense of entitlement towards me and/or my time. I admit to a certain extent friendship is a give and take thing, but can you consider my time too? I have already spent countless hours discussing this project with him. I am just completely brain dead when it comes to that subject.
So a good friend of mine wrote a script years ago. It is a short only about 30 pages or so and it is ok. The first time I read it, I told him my honest opinion - that it read like a PSA. He got really defensive, so I had to spend hours defending my opinion. Granted he solicited my opinion, and I gave it to him - hesitantly because I didn't want to have to justify every single nuance of my opinion.
So he called one of his other friends and she said the same thing and he got us both on the line and we discussed it for hours and hours. He was very defensive and argumentative.
So now he has revised the script and he kept a lot of what we said in mind, and it better, but in my opnion it is just ok. My main issue with the script is that I don't really relate to the characters, nor do I care what happens to them.
But he wants to belabor this script with me night after night. Well, what if I do this, or how about that? Long discussion. That's cool, but I don't know how much longer I can stand it. I don't want to write it....
The thing is my friend is a great director and filmmaker, but a writer...eh...he is just ok. It is kinda like Spike Lee in a way. I think Spike is a great director, but his writing is a little suspect. His films (that he wrote) I felt were preachy, one dimensional and generally just ok (with the exception of Mo Betta Blues and X) He just got better as he honed in on his strengths and left the acting to the actors and the writing ot the writers.
My friend is extremely analytical and often reads way too much into the details, but sometimes misses the big picture. He is very gifted with setting up a scene with words. When reading his work, you can literally see how the scene is supposed to look - which I think is phenomenal. But dialogue and sometimes character development....not so much.
I am no film critic - that's for sure. My idea of Must See TV is America's Next Top Model, so clearly I am not that deep :) Which is why I shouldn't be spending long countless hours analyzing a script - (I really should be writing my own). Don't get me wrong, I love reading scripts, but don't hate if I don't tell you what you don't want to hear.
So a good friend of mine wrote a script years ago. It is a short only about 30 pages or so and it is ok. The first time I read it, I told him my honest opinion - that it read like a PSA. He got really defensive, so I had to spend hours defending my opinion. Granted he solicited my opinion, and I gave it to him - hesitantly because I didn't want to have to justify every single nuance of my opinion.
So he called one of his other friends and she said the same thing and he got us both on the line and we discussed it for hours and hours. He was very defensive and argumentative.
So now he has revised the script and he kept a lot of what we said in mind, and it better, but in my opnion it is just ok. My main issue with the script is that I don't really relate to the characters, nor do I care what happens to them.
But he wants to belabor this script with me night after night. Well, what if I do this, or how about that? Long discussion. That's cool, but I don't know how much longer I can stand it. I don't want to write it....
The thing is my friend is a great director and filmmaker, but a writer...eh...he is just ok. It is kinda like Spike Lee in a way. I think Spike is a great director, but his writing is a little suspect. His films (that he wrote) I felt were preachy, one dimensional and generally just ok (with the exception of Mo Betta Blues and X) He just got better as he honed in on his strengths and left the acting to the actors and the writing ot the writers.
My friend is extremely analytical and often reads way too much into the details, but sometimes misses the big picture. He is very gifted with setting up a scene with words. When reading his work, you can literally see how the scene is supposed to look - which I think is phenomenal. But dialogue and sometimes character development....not so much.
I am no film critic - that's for sure. My idea of Must See TV is America's Next Top Model, so clearly I am not that deep :) Which is why I shouldn't be spending long countless hours analyzing a script - (I really should be writing my own). Don't get me wrong, I love reading scripts, but don't hate if I don't tell you what you don't want to hear.
Monday, April 24, 2006
When Email Goes Down...
You may as well go home! It's amazing how dependent I am on email - it went down and essentially I couldn't get much done.
I mean was I actually supposed to pick up the phone and call my clients? Eh, not big on that, in my business it's best to have a written record of the essentials.
Snail mail would take too long, and unless it's fed ex I don't have the best track record of making it to the post office.
On a good note, I got my taxes done on time and albeit it was 11:25 before I headed to the post office Tuesday night, I got the postmark and that's all that matters! I am twenty minutes better than last year. Which is better than the extension I had to file the year before. Baby steps!
I will make a concerted effort to do better next year. Maybe I'll do something wild and crazy and have them finished in March.
Office is crazy, yet a little more relaxed because most of upper management is in Las Vegas for NAB. Wish I was there, sounds like a cool trip - one day I shall go.
I am just rambling - the joys of laundry and vacuuming await. Who am I kidding? I will vacuum tomorrow ;)
I mean was I actually supposed to pick up the phone and call my clients? Eh, not big on that, in my business it's best to have a written record of the essentials.
Snail mail would take too long, and unless it's fed ex I don't have the best track record of making it to the post office.
On a good note, I got my taxes done on time and albeit it was 11:25 before I headed to the post office Tuesday night, I got the postmark and that's all that matters! I am twenty minutes better than last year. Which is better than the extension I had to file the year before. Baby steps!
I will make a concerted effort to do better next year. Maybe I'll do something wild and crazy and have them finished in March.
Office is crazy, yet a little more relaxed because most of upper management is in Las Vegas for NAB. Wish I was there, sounds like a cool trip - one day I shall go.
I am just rambling - the joys of laundry and vacuuming await. Who am I kidding? I will vacuum tomorrow ;)
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Incognito
I have been gone for awhile, mainly because I haven't felt like writing. I have thought of things to write about, but when I was near my laptop, I ended up surfing the web instead. So in the time that I have been away, here's what I have been up to:
Things are going great with me and my beau. We get along like peas and carrots ;) Yesterday, we officially started looking for a place. This is going to be....new. We went to one place called The East and the West at Ballston. They are basically apartments that are being converted to condos. They were featured on "Your New Home" on Channel 7. http://theviewatballstonmetro.com/ I guess technically they are new in the sense that they are installing all new appliances and fixtures. I felt somewhat optimistic when they said the prices started in the low 300s. When we got there, we found out that the 2 bedrooms are in the mid 500s....part of me just wanted to say forget it, but since we drove all the way out there, I wanted to see what a condo for a little over a half million looks like - I must say - it was not impressive. While the rooftop pool, fitness center and the e-lounge were very yuppie, the place itself was small. I am willing to bet the total square footage did not top 1000. The master bedroom was tiny, it reminds me of the room I live in now. You can fit a bed in and little else. It had a lot of angles which not make it very accomodating for my existing furniture. The master bath only had a shower stall. The second bath has a tub, but was tiny. The biggest disappointment was the small kitchen and miniature washer/dryer (like the one I have now) 4 pairs of jeans = 1 load. But there is good news - they were offering an incentive - if you move in within 30 days, they pay closing, and they offer $15,000 toward the mortgage. And the location is awesome. But I think a better use of 565K (as if that is even an option) would be a single family home.
I think I was just shocked that something so small could be so over inflated, I can't imagine making a profit when it is time to sell...
We also looked at a development in Hyattsville - it looks promising but it won't be done until next year. So we'll see.
Other than house hunting, we along with my fellow project managersand guests, witnessed the Nationals win their first home game Friday night. It was a rainy night and the game was postponed about 2 hours because of the rain, but the tickets were on the company so why not? We have diamond club tickets. Cetainly not the way I remember seeing baseball as a kid, but quite nice. All diamond clubbers get an armband and have access to a pre-game all you can eat buffet. Everything is free except alcohol. So we hung out in the buffet area for about 3 hours. Also during the game, they bring food to you :) All you pay for is alcohol and tip. Ahhh, I could get used to the diamond club. Hopefully the pm group will have another opportunity to go.
I also went to my co-workers 50th birthday party yesterday and although it was raining - he had a good turnout. It was a good time. I wasn't sure about going, but I like him and I had a better time than I thought.
My company is going through a transition, and a lot of changes are being made. Transitions suck, but I am optimistic that things will be better once it is over. In the meantime, I am going with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. I for one am all for change. We do a lot of things right now that just don't make business sense, so I hope that all changes.
I am still looking to do other things, so anything I can do on the side is a welcome change.
Today, I am just taking some time to regroup. I am in a little bit of a rut. But I have a few things to look forward too. I am helping a friend work on her pilot which is fun. And I am gearing up for the OC (Ocean City, Md) this Memorial Day weekend. I am pretty excited about that and there's Martha's Vineyard in August.
That's all for now - no drama, nothing exciting, just life as it happens. It's time to reinvent my life so it is a little more... juicy!
Things are going great with me and my beau. We get along like peas and carrots ;) Yesterday, we officially started looking for a place. This is going to be....new. We went to one place called The East and the West at Ballston. They are basically apartments that are being converted to condos. They were featured on "Your New Home" on Channel 7. http://theviewatballstonmetro.com/ I guess technically they are new in the sense that they are installing all new appliances and fixtures. I felt somewhat optimistic when they said the prices started in the low 300s. When we got there, we found out that the 2 bedrooms are in the mid 500s....part of me just wanted to say forget it, but since we drove all the way out there, I wanted to see what a condo for a little over a half million looks like - I must say - it was not impressive. While the rooftop pool, fitness center and the e-lounge were very yuppie, the place itself was small. I am willing to bet the total square footage did not top 1000. The master bedroom was tiny, it reminds me of the room I live in now. You can fit a bed in and little else. It had a lot of angles which not make it very accomodating for my existing furniture. The master bath only had a shower stall. The second bath has a tub, but was tiny. The biggest disappointment was the small kitchen and miniature washer/dryer (like the one I have now) 4 pairs of jeans = 1 load. But there is good news - they were offering an incentive - if you move in within 30 days, they pay closing, and they offer $15,000 toward the mortgage. And the location is awesome. But I think a better use of 565K (as if that is even an option) would be a single family home.
I think I was just shocked that something so small could be so over inflated, I can't imagine making a profit when it is time to sell...
We also looked at a development in Hyattsville - it looks promising but it won't be done until next year. So we'll see.
Other than house hunting, we along with my fellow project managersand guests, witnessed the Nationals win their first home game Friday night. It was a rainy night and the game was postponed about 2 hours because of the rain, but the tickets were on the company so why not? We have diamond club tickets. Cetainly not the way I remember seeing baseball as a kid, but quite nice. All diamond clubbers get an armband and have access to a pre-game all you can eat buffet. Everything is free except alcohol. So we hung out in the buffet area for about 3 hours. Also during the game, they bring food to you :) All you pay for is alcohol and tip. Ahhh, I could get used to the diamond club. Hopefully the pm group will have another opportunity to go.
I also went to my co-workers 50th birthday party yesterday and although it was raining - he had a good turnout. It was a good time. I wasn't sure about going, but I like him and I had a better time than I thought.
My company is going through a transition, and a lot of changes are being made. Transitions suck, but I am optimistic that things will be better once it is over. In the meantime, I am going with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. I for one am all for change. We do a lot of things right now that just don't make business sense, so I hope that all changes.
I am still looking to do other things, so anything I can do on the side is a welcome change.
Today, I am just taking some time to regroup. I am in a little bit of a rut. But I have a few things to look forward too. I am helping a friend work on her pilot which is fun. And I am gearing up for the OC (Ocean City, Md) this Memorial Day weekend. I am pretty excited about that and there's Martha's Vineyard in August.
That's all for now - no drama, nothing exciting, just life as it happens. It's time to reinvent my life so it is a little more... juicy!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
72 Hour Hold
Has got to be the hardest book I have ever tried to read in my recent past. It is awful. My bok club meeting is Saturday and let's face it - I still have about 275 pages left. I just can't seem to get through it - it's worse than writer's block. I don't care about the character - I wish I could - but the book is just depressing - it's about a single mother who is trying to care for her bipolar 18 year old daughter. It is dreary, and I wish I could get my money back.
I guess I will wing it on Saturday - I can't believe they voted for this book. I read the sypnopsis and knew it wasn't my cup of tea. How about the da vinci code or something?
C'est La Vie
I guess I will wing it on Saturday - I can't believe they voted for this book. I read the sypnopsis and knew it wasn't my cup of tea. How about the da vinci code or something?
C'est La Vie
Monday, March 13, 2006
Cheap, Fast and Good
My quote of the day:
Cheap, Fast and Good. You can only have two - never all three.
You can have fast and good, but it won't be cheap.
You can have Cheap and Good, but it won't be fast.
You can have cheap and fast, but it won't be good.
You choose!
Cheap, Fast and Good. You can only have two - never all three.
You can have fast and good, but it won't be cheap.
You can have Cheap and Good, but it won't be fast.
You can have cheap and fast, but it won't be good.
You choose!
AA
(Assholes Anonymous) Perhaps there should be a support group. I too dated an asshole. There is hope. The good thing about dating an asshole (an eventually leaving) is that is makes it easier to recognize a good thing. The hard thing is leaving - especially a controlling passive aggressive one.
But once you make the break, it is so worth it. I was watching Joel Osteen (my Sunday ritual) and this time he was speaking on controlling people and how the need to control undermines relationships. He also said to break away from controlling people - that God would honor that decision and send someone better. After all we were not made to be manipulated.
Will he ever commit? I don't know. The commitment carrot was dangled in front of me for so long - if only I was.... perfect.
When you are ready to form that support group, holla at me.
But once you make the break, it is so worth it. I was watching Joel Osteen (my Sunday ritual) and this time he was speaking on controlling people and how the need to control undermines relationships. He also said to break away from controlling people - that God would honor that decision and send someone better. After all we were not made to be manipulated.
Will he ever commit? I don't know. The commitment carrot was dangled in front of me for so long - if only I was.... perfect.
When you are ready to form that support group, holla at me.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
March Madness
So I was watching one of Joel Osteen's programs - which lately him and Creflo Dollar have substituted for my church services - He spoke on having a gentle spirit and everything he said resonated with me. I decided that I would have a gentle spirit so I prayed and asked God to help me control my tongue.
I am such a fiery spirit - and a lot of times I can keep it in check - but yesterday the combination or hormones (on my part) and stupidity (on my client's part) caused me to forget all about that gentle spirit stuff. (Sorry God, I know I could have accomplished the same goal without all the fire).
I get a little taken aback when a client calls me on a Saturday to ask me to do something that is completely unreasonable. What's worse is that I did not give her my cell phone number. I don't know how she got it, but there will be a nice email going out on Monday about our personal phone numbers being for internal use only! I have already missed happy hour dealing with her nonsense and I got up early Saturday morning to go buy some paint for her production (which is not my job). So I have at this point I have gone over and above what is reasonable.
Her newly hired production manager called me shortly after she grilled me for 20 minutes and I feel sorry for the poor chap, because I let him have it. I was livid at this point, this project is a one person shoot and certainly I am capable of organizing that without having to troubled on the weekend - one more phone call and they will need to put me on the payroll. He laughed and told me he would take care of everything - which was a good idea.
The thing is I don't know this woman and it was the fact that her project was damned from the beginning because of poor decisions on their part that has left me with a less than sympathetic attitude. I go above and beyond for my regulars all the time and some of them are welcome to call me anytime - just don't waste my time.
I have a hard time dealing when people don't take no for an answer. I lose it - maybe this is preparation for parenthood. When I say no - I mean no - and what happens is you keep grilling me and I say anything to get you to shut up - but I still have no intention of doing whatever it is that has been requested - because I have already made my decision. I need to work on that - how to say no and not back down yet still be respectful....
Her shoot is Tuesday so I will have a lot more time to practice demonstrating a gentle spirit.
I am such a fiery spirit - and a lot of times I can keep it in check - but yesterday the combination or hormones (on my part) and stupidity (on my client's part) caused me to forget all about that gentle spirit stuff. (Sorry God, I know I could have accomplished the same goal without all the fire).
I get a little taken aback when a client calls me on a Saturday to ask me to do something that is completely unreasonable. What's worse is that I did not give her my cell phone number. I don't know how she got it, but there will be a nice email going out on Monday about our personal phone numbers being for internal use only! I have already missed happy hour dealing with her nonsense and I got up early Saturday morning to go buy some paint for her production (which is not my job). So I have at this point I have gone over and above what is reasonable.
Her newly hired production manager called me shortly after she grilled me for 20 minutes and I feel sorry for the poor chap, because I let him have it. I was livid at this point, this project is a one person shoot and certainly I am capable of organizing that without having to troubled on the weekend - one more phone call and they will need to put me on the payroll. He laughed and told me he would take care of everything - which was a good idea.
The thing is I don't know this woman and it was the fact that her project was damned from the beginning because of poor decisions on their part that has left me with a less than sympathetic attitude. I go above and beyond for my regulars all the time and some of them are welcome to call me anytime - just don't waste my time.
I have a hard time dealing when people don't take no for an answer. I lose it - maybe this is preparation for parenthood. When I say no - I mean no - and what happens is you keep grilling me and I say anything to get you to shut up - but I still have no intention of doing whatever it is that has been requested - because I have already made my decision. I need to work on that - how to say no and not back down yet still be respectful....
Her shoot is Tuesday so I will have a lot more time to practice demonstrating a gentle spirit.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Wanna Get Away?
Imagine being at a formal event - an awards dinner. Everyone is dressed up, even the wait staff, you are being served a 3 course meal including filet mignon and lobster. It is a classy affair. Just as an award is about to be presented to one of the honorees, a cell phone rings. Not just any old regular sounding ring - oh no - it was the ring tone for "Laffy Taffy".
Everyone in the nearby vicinity looks up as the guy is frantically trying to turn the thing off. His friends are laughing hysterically and the teasing continues throughout the night. Some of them even begin to dance a little during the song...
All we needed was a camera - perfect "wanna get away" Southwest commercial ;)
Everyone in the nearby vicinity looks up as the guy is frantically trying to turn the thing off. His friends are laughing hysterically and the teasing continues throughout the night. Some of them even begin to dance a little during the song...
All we needed was a camera - perfect "wanna get away" Southwest commercial ;)
Monday, March 06, 2006
I Cheated
So I am not supposed to be eating anything substantial after 8pm. But those pistachios were calling my name. Where's a little self control when I need it? This is putting my weight loss plan in peril.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Blogging is for Babies
Not really. It's just my way of justifying that I haven't written in forever. It's funny how losing my voice (which I suspect was due to a bad case of the flu) somehow affected my fingers. I thought of so many many things I wanted to post, but I just went to sleep instead. I have been so busy between work and... work. I know it's a sad reality. Last weekend was fantastic though. I was just beginning to feel a little bit better and I spent the weekend chilling. I must have been on the phone all day Saturday making up for lost time when I didn't have a voice. I will beback in the gym full time next week. I had to make sure I was completely better before going back and now I am 100%.
There has been so much going on in my head. I have gotten back into reading and decided that I need to make a few changes in my life. These changes are vital to my career and overall well being. One of the books I am reading is How to Win Friends and Influence People - which initially I was worried wouldn't be a good read, but after listening my best friend's praise about it, I knew it was worth the purchase.
I am tripping - although I have a boyfriend who I love a lot, I am not sure I am ready to committ. There is a part of me that thinks I am destined to be single. Maybe it is residual relationship stuff, but sometimes I just think.... I don't know. I couldn't ask for a more kind-hearted person...and here I am wigging out. Most of the times I am fine, but occasionally the thought of a permanent committment scares me. It's so....permanent. I was planning on dating before getting involved again. I spent 7 years involved with someone and that didn't end up the way I expected. But thank God it ended. Althougth I must admit he has been on my mind lately. Not really him - his mother. I have been thinking about her a lot. I was tempted to call, but decided not to. I don't have her number anymore, so I would have to call him and that isn't the best idea.
He used to have some sort of pull on me - I have ignored him for so long - I don't think that power is still there, but just in case, it is better to stay away. It's hard to explain, because at least with the guy I am currently seeing, the possibility is there to have a future with him (even though it freaks me out a little) - with the ex there is no chance, but who knows. He is very charming (just like his father) and I don't want to allow myself to get caught in that web.
At any rate, I guess I am trying to make up for all the lost time. Valentine's Day was nice - his birthday too. We went out to dinner. He got me a gift certificate to Elizabeth Arden which I will be redeeming soon :) I can't divulge what I have in mind for him - it is on the way, but he doesn't know about it yet. My plans for his surprise party fell apart because I was sick for a minute.
Work is driving me nuts. I still feel like I am dealing with a few snakes and my work load has increased by leaps and bounds, which will need to change. I plan on having that chat with my boss on Monday. I am also dealing with an underhanded person who just does little bs on the daily to make me look bad - I haven't decided if it is malicious, but I suspect that it is. She is a very devisive person not to mention she has the worst hair I have ever seen. Yeah, I know - I shouldn't have gone there, but she irritates me. She has the weirdo relationship with a co-worker and because we sit in such close proximity I have to hear about that crap all day. But that wouldn't bother me at all, if I didn't think she was out to make me look bad. Arrgghhh. The new boss thing - he's alright. I am watching my back though.
Something went wrong today, between a flaky client and a ridiculous work load. I admit that I acted impetuously and should have taken an alternate course of action. I just immediate went into fire fighting mode and put out the most immediate fire, but that left behind a smoldering fire that grew. Basically I helped someone who didn't plan for emergency by imparing someone who did. But, my real issue today and as of late is that I haven't had a spare moment to have one complete thought. My phone rings nonstop and between that and doing my job and elements of other people's job I was simply too spent to deal with diplomacy. Live and learn, Hopefully I will be able to smooth things over on Monday and work things out.
In the meantime, I am trying to do my own thing, because in case I haven't mentioned it, my job sucks. I have got to work towards something else at all costs. I know for sure I will get burnt out real soon. I think I had a drink almost every night this week. I have become a big fan of pinot grigiot - but I don't want it to become a coping mechanism.
I think my biggest mistake has been comparing where I was with where I am. The level of talent where I was far exceeds the talent resources I have available to me now. I feel that I have to be more of a mother here....it's very draining.
But, even with all the gripes with my job, I am glad I have it! I believe that while it is not what I want to do - it will open the door to other opportunities. I managed a remote production in Baltimore a couple of weeks ago that went really well - the client said it was the best they had - which is great, considering I was sick as a dog and that is beyond my job description (which seems to be ever changing). So I think I am proving myself beyond my job, which is great.
On a good note, financially I am doing a lot better. I can see a credit card debt free celebration in my future within the next month. It will be a banner day! I am going to an open house tomorrow, so there is hope for me yet :)
There has been so much going on in my head. I have gotten back into reading and decided that I need to make a few changes in my life. These changes are vital to my career and overall well being. One of the books I am reading is How to Win Friends and Influence People - which initially I was worried wouldn't be a good read, but after listening my best friend's praise about it, I knew it was worth the purchase.
I am tripping - although I have a boyfriend who I love a lot, I am not sure I am ready to committ. There is a part of me that thinks I am destined to be single. Maybe it is residual relationship stuff, but sometimes I just think.... I don't know. I couldn't ask for a more kind-hearted person...and here I am wigging out. Most of the times I am fine, but occasionally the thought of a permanent committment scares me. It's so....permanent. I was planning on dating before getting involved again. I spent 7 years involved with someone and that didn't end up the way I expected. But thank God it ended. Althougth I must admit he has been on my mind lately. Not really him - his mother. I have been thinking about her a lot. I was tempted to call, but decided not to. I don't have her number anymore, so I would have to call him and that isn't the best idea.
He used to have some sort of pull on me - I have ignored him for so long - I don't think that power is still there, but just in case, it is better to stay away. It's hard to explain, because at least with the guy I am currently seeing, the possibility is there to have a future with him (even though it freaks me out a little) - with the ex there is no chance, but who knows. He is very charming (just like his father) and I don't want to allow myself to get caught in that web.
At any rate, I guess I am trying to make up for all the lost time. Valentine's Day was nice - his birthday too. We went out to dinner. He got me a gift certificate to Elizabeth Arden which I will be redeeming soon :) I can't divulge what I have in mind for him - it is on the way, but he doesn't know about it yet. My plans for his surprise party fell apart because I was sick for a minute.
Work is driving me nuts. I still feel like I am dealing with a few snakes and my work load has increased by leaps and bounds, which will need to change. I plan on having that chat with my boss on Monday. I am also dealing with an underhanded person who just does little bs on the daily to make me look bad - I haven't decided if it is malicious, but I suspect that it is. She is a very devisive person not to mention she has the worst hair I have ever seen. Yeah, I know - I shouldn't have gone there, but she irritates me. She has the weirdo relationship with a co-worker and because we sit in such close proximity I have to hear about that crap all day. But that wouldn't bother me at all, if I didn't think she was out to make me look bad. Arrgghhh. The new boss thing - he's alright. I am watching my back though.
Something went wrong today, between a flaky client and a ridiculous work load. I admit that I acted impetuously and should have taken an alternate course of action. I just immediate went into fire fighting mode and put out the most immediate fire, but that left behind a smoldering fire that grew. Basically I helped someone who didn't plan for emergency by imparing someone who did. But, my real issue today and as of late is that I haven't had a spare moment to have one complete thought. My phone rings nonstop and between that and doing my job and elements of other people's job I was simply too spent to deal with diplomacy. Live and learn, Hopefully I will be able to smooth things over on Monday and work things out.
In the meantime, I am trying to do my own thing, because in case I haven't mentioned it, my job sucks. I have got to work towards something else at all costs. I know for sure I will get burnt out real soon. I think I had a drink almost every night this week. I have become a big fan of pinot grigiot - but I don't want it to become a coping mechanism.
I think my biggest mistake has been comparing where I was with where I am. The level of talent where I was far exceeds the talent resources I have available to me now. I feel that I have to be more of a mother here....it's very draining.
But, even with all the gripes with my job, I am glad I have it! I believe that while it is not what I want to do - it will open the door to other opportunities. I managed a remote production in Baltimore a couple of weeks ago that went really well - the client said it was the best they had - which is great, considering I was sick as a dog and that is beyond my job description (which seems to be ever changing). So I think I am proving myself beyond my job, which is great.
On a good note, financially I am doing a lot better. I can see a credit card debt free celebration in my future within the next month. It will be a banner day! I am going to an open house tomorrow, so there is hope for me yet :)
Friday, February 10, 2006
I Admit It
I am...I can't even say it - I am under the weather. Instead of spending the weekend with my boyfriend as I had visualized, I will be in bed. It especially sucks because I had planned on celebrating his birthday this weekend. His actual birthday is Valentine's day, but I thought it would be cool for him to have his own day. I had a little something in the works, but couldn't finish the planning because I have been so out of it.
I don't what to think about work. It seems my job description is ever-changing. Somehow, I ended up going on a remote shoot to Baltimore together. It was totally a last minute project and I spent the bulk of Thursday trying to tie together all the loose ends (I only found about the project on Tuesday evening) I juggled this in between the rest of my normal stuff all while having a sore throat and possibly something worse. Imagine being on the phone and PA system all day with a sore throat. What made it even more ridiculous is the crew call time was 5:00am, but since I was driving the company van and taking some of the crew with me - I had to leave my spot at 3am. The shoot turned out well, overall - there were a couple of minor problems, but it all worked out.
I said all that to say, is that I don't know when me being at a remote shoot became part of my job. It is conversation that I will have to have with my boss. I like being on-location, but it takes me away from all other stuff leaving others to cover for me. Had it not been for this shoot, chances are I would have called out sick today.
I hate taking sick days (when actually sick) Sick days are meant to use when you need a mental health day - like taking the time off for a weekend getaway or just to chill out at the park. Not for actually being sick. But I need time to recover - I hope that this passes soon.
Having a cold has got to be one of the most common miserable experiences. So now I am just rambling, so I will sign off. I could go on and on about random stuff....did I mention that I love the diamond heart pendant my boyfriend got me. I haven't taken it off...
I don't what to think about work. It seems my job description is ever-changing. Somehow, I ended up going on a remote shoot to Baltimore together. It was totally a last minute project and I spent the bulk of Thursday trying to tie together all the loose ends (I only found about the project on Tuesday evening) I juggled this in between the rest of my normal stuff all while having a sore throat and possibly something worse. Imagine being on the phone and PA system all day with a sore throat. What made it even more ridiculous is the crew call time was 5:00am, but since I was driving the company van and taking some of the crew with me - I had to leave my spot at 3am. The shoot turned out well, overall - there were a couple of minor problems, but it all worked out.
I said all that to say, is that I don't know when me being at a remote shoot became part of my job. It is conversation that I will have to have with my boss. I like being on-location, but it takes me away from all other stuff leaving others to cover for me. Had it not been for this shoot, chances are I would have called out sick today.
I hate taking sick days (when actually sick) Sick days are meant to use when you need a mental health day - like taking the time off for a weekend getaway or just to chill out at the park. Not for actually being sick. But I need time to recover - I hope that this passes soon.
Having a cold has got to be one of the most common miserable experiences. So now I am just rambling, so I will sign off. I could go on and on about random stuff....did I mention that I love the diamond heart pendant my boyfriend got me. I haven't taken it off...
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
5K Training Interrupted
So I was convinced to train for a 5K which would be the longest distance I have ever run. Things were going well. I could run for at least 1.25 miles staight and walk the rest. It seemed like I wasn't quite so winded the last time I went to the gym and then I got sick...I have been out of it since Monday (which was the last time I went to the gym) and by the time I go back it will probably feel like the first time. I got some arch support which helped a lot the last time I went to the gym. I have been doing mainly cardio training - eliiptical for 20minutes, Treadmill for 20-30 minutes. The idea of doing the treadmill for the enitre time would bore me to tears.
Anyway, I can't wait to get back into the swing of things.
Anyway, I can't wait to get back into the swing of things.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Swimming with Sharks
Come on in - the water's fine. It is a shark infested swim. So much drama - so little time.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Christmas in February
Today, I got my Christmas gift. It came via fed ex and was in a a little box (one of my favorite sizes). It is a diamond heart pendant from my boyfriend. I tried it on and now I don't want to take it off. I won't be exchanging this one. It is keeper. Heck, he might be a keeper too ;)
Inspirational Thought: Diamonds are a girls best friend - I don't know who said it, but they are on to something!
Inspirational Thought: Diamonds are a girls best friend - I don't know who said it, but they are on to something!
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Bart Simpsoned
I got Bart Simpsoned at work Friday. It was really quite humorous. We have a paging system at work and occasionally I have to answer phones (which I despise). I am in the middle of writing an email and various other fires and I get a call. Yes, I hve a colleague visiting today - Can you please page her? Her name is Anita Nujob. In my head I am thinking what in the world kind of name is that? So I paged her. Normally we page a person twice, so as I was saying it the second time, I hear it what I am actually saying....and then I hear laughter. Then of course someone says, please repeat the page...more laughter. Of course by then, I got it and was only slightly embarrassed. That was pretty funny (and there is probably more truth than I would admit). It was a good way to end the workday.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Basement Blues
I don't understand how people can live in the basement. As nice as some of them are, I just can't picture living in a basement. I thought about it when I was looking for a place, but it's just not for me. Right now I work in a basement, and I think in some ways it is getting to me. I need sunlight. There could be a blizzard or a completely beautiful day and I wouldn't know it. I try to get out, but lately I have had so much to do- it has been nuts.
I have been getting to the gym, but today I was so tired I did twenty minutes of cardio and a little resistance and I was pooped.
It was a sad day at work. The fox has officially taken over the hen house and the steward won't be around anymore. That's all I will write about that. I will probably say a lot more, but then I can always deny what I said, but it's hard to deny something in writing. I am so transparent anyway, I couldn't deny anything if I wanted to.
On a good note, one of my best friends called me tonight. I was so happy to hear her voice. I miss her a lot. We used to be together all the time - we were like sisters. Our lives are so different now, but it seems everytime we communicate that connection is still there. I hope we can have a reunion/housewarming for her soon. (Long story)
Inspirational Thought: "People who do well are not geniuses; they don't have a birthright for doing well. Somebody helped them along the way and they did the hard work along the way." - Deborah Prothrow-Stith
I have been getting to the gym, but today I was so tired I did twenty minutes of cardio and a little resistance and I was pooped.
It was a sad day at work. The fox has officially taken over the hen house and the steward won't be around anymore. That's all I will write about that. I will probably say a lot more, but then I can always deny what I said, but it's hard to deny something in writing. I am so transparent anyway, I couldn't deny anything if I wanted to.
On a good note, one of my best friends called me tonight. I was so happy to hear her voice. I miss her a lot. We used to be together all the time - we were like sisters. Our lives are so different now, but it seems everytime we communicate that connection is still there. I hope we can have a reunion/housewarming for her soon. (Long story)
Inspirational Thought: "People who do well are not geniuses; they don't have a birthright for doing well. Somebody helped them along the way and they did the hard work along the way." - Deborah Prothrow-Stith
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Another One Bites the Dust
Why do the good people leave? Do they know something I don't?
Inspirational Thought: Fear keeps up from taking action, and if we don't act, we never get beyond where we are now. - Jack Canfield
Inspirational Thought: Fear keeps up from taking action, and if we don't act, we never get beyond where we are now. - Jack Canfield
What Are You Still Doing Here?
I hate that question. I mean I am already agitated that I am still "here" and am doing my best to not be "here" and otherwise well-meaning people interrupt me and ask that question...it's like a reminder that I am not out having a life - instead I am "still" working.
I am not even sure what the correct answer is. I mean the obvious answer is - I am still here because I still have stuff to do. I guess my favorite is, "you know, I was just thinking, that I don't spend enough time working, and I love this place so much, I thought I'd stay late just to keep my spirits up".
And even slightly more annoying is the security guard who seems to track my comings and goings. Like for instance I left for the gym around 2;30 yesterday and he asks why am I leaving so early...I say I am coming back, I am just taking my lunch break. I get back around 3:45 and he says "that was a long lunch break, you shouldn't have been gone that long" I am thinking, 'hmmm, didn't know I had to check in and out with you'. I say, "I deserved a long break - I needed every minute" That answer seems satisfactory. (Phew, I was worried) And it's back to work.
So that's the question everytime I am at work late, I am bound to hear that question at least once. I guess it is part of the deal. I suppose I should count my blessings and I should be happy people care enough to ask.
I am not even sure what the correct answer is. I mean the obvious answer is - I am still here because I still have stuff to do. I guess my favorite is, "you know, I was just thinking, that I don't spend enough time working, and I love this place so much, I thought I'd stay late just to keep my spirits up".
And even slightly more annoying is the security guard who seems to track my comings and goings. Like for instance I left for the gym around 2;30 yesterday and he asks why am I leaving so early...I say I am coming back, I am just taking my lunch break. I get back around 3:45 and he says "that was a long lunch break, you shouldn't have been gone that long" I am thinking, 'hmmm, didn't know I had to check in and out with you'. I say, "I deserved a long break - I needed every minute" That answer seems satisfactory. (Phew, I was worried) And it's back to work.
So that's the question everytime I am at work late, I am bound to hear that question at least once. I guess it is part of the deal. I suppose I should count my blessings and I should be happy people care enough to ask.
Monday, January 23, 2006
One Bad Turn Deserves Another
Why follow up one bad decision with another bad one? It defies logic.
Inspirational Thought of the Day:
You can never get others to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself. - George Fraser
Inspirational Thought of the Day:
You can never get others to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself. - George Fraser
Nasty Tail Girls
Yes this is another rant.
The subject: Nasty Tail Girls
The motivation: My trip to the gym this evening.
How is it possible for a grown woman (or a child anyone out of diapers for that matter) to be so nasty. Aside from my general irritation with not cleaning up the sprinkle after the tinkle, this by far was worse. Someone left a soiled towel on the hip abductor machine today. I am not sure what it was soiled with - it appeared to be a mixture of blood and possibly fecal material. I surmised it was a woman because of the blood, but also whoever used it last was only using a resistance of 60 - typically guys can handle a lot more. Could you be more disgusting? How about (well first, not doing that) but how about nicely throwing the towel away. It was so gross, they probably didn't want to touch it either. I managed to pick it up with another towel and dispose of it, then I disinfected the area. The sight of it still lingers in my mind, because it defies my understanding that someone could be soooo nasty.
This of course got me to thinking of a lot of the nasty tail things some women do.
Like some women drop their dirty underwear on the floor of the locker room. Nobody wants to see that - especially after you have worked out. I would never put my underwear clean or dirty on the floor of some public place....
How about making sure you flush especially during that special time, nobody wants to see that. Is there a shortage of water that makes it impossible to flush - would it exert too much energy to press the handle.
And how about washing your hands after going to the toilet - novel concept, but it could work. It's nasty tail people which makes me have to take an extra paper towel to open the door with - thereby using up another part of a tree that could be used for a better purpose.
What are these people learning at home? I just can't understand the behavior. I know most public places have a cleaning service, but dang. That is just ridiculous. Enough of my ranting - I'm just saying...
The subject: Nasty Tail Girls
The motivation: My trip to the gym this evening.
How is it possible for a grown woman (or a child anyone out of diapers for that matter) to be so nasty. Aside from my general irritation with not cleaning up the sprinkle after the tinkle, this by far was worse. Someone left a soiled towel on the hip abductor machine today. I am not sure what it was soiled with - it appeared to be a mixture of blood and possibly fecal material. I surmised it was a woman because of the blood, but also whoever used it last was only using a resistance of 60 - typically guys can handle a lot more. Could you be more disgusting? How about (well first, not doing that) but how about nicely throwing the towel away. It was so gross, they probably didn't want to touch it either. I managed to pick it up with another towel and dispose of it, then I disinfected the area. The sight of it still lingers in my mind, because it defies my understanding that someone could be soooo nasty.
This of course got me to thinking of a lot of the nasty tail things some women do.
Like some women drop their dirty underwear on the floor of the locker room. Nobody wants to see that - especially after you have worked out. I would never put my underwear clean or dirty on the floor of some public place....
How about making sure you flush especially during that special time, nobody wants to see that. Is there a shortage of water that makes it impossible to flush - would it exert too much energy to press the handle.
And how about washing your hands after going to the toilet - novel concept, but it could work. It's nasty tail people which makes me have to take an extra paper towel to open the door with - thereby using up another part of a tree that could be used for a better purpose.
What are these people learning at home? I just can't understand the behavior. I know most public places have a cleaning service, but dang. That is just ridiculous. Enough of my ranting - I'm just saying...
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Reading Re-visited
I am so excited about my book club meeting. I haven't read a book for pleasure in such a long time, I'd forgotten how much I enjoy it. I am so thankful for my friend Laura for inviting me to join. Our first meeting is next Saturday. Our book of the month is "Kindred" by Octavia Butler. It was a surprisingly easy read - I didn't think it would be from looking at the cover. I thought it would be like "Beloved" (which no disrepect, was not an easy book for me to get through - it was often depressing)
'Kindred" is a time travel story of young black woman in 1976 who is periodically transported back to the 1800s Maryland to help her ancestors - particularly her great great grandfather who happens to be an heir and future slave owner of a substantial Maryland plantation. She first meets him as a child, Rufus, where she saves him from drowning only to be insulted by his mother and held at gunpoint by his father. As if on cue, she is trasported back to her own time and husband. A common theme is that she is generally "called" back int to time to save Rufus - mainly from himself. I won't say too much more about it, but it is a great read,
I can't wait to our next selection.
'Kindred" is a time travel story of young black woman in 1976 who is periodically transported back to the 1800s Maryland to help her ancestors - particularly her great great grandfather who happens to be an heir and future slave owner of a substantial Maryland plantation. She first meets him as a child, Rufus, where she saves him from drowning only to be insulted by his mother and held at gunpoint by his father. As if on cue, she is trasported back to her own time and husband. A common theme is that she is generally "called" back int to time to save Rufus - mainly from himself. I won't say too much more about it, but it is a great read,
I can't wait to our next selection.
America the Beautiful
Last night I hung out with some of significant other's friends and had a really nice time. I like his friends. I started talking to his ex-roommate's wife and we were talking about traveling. I told her I wanted to visit all 50 states and eventually start seeing places overseas. She loved to travel and had visited a lot of places and took a cross country road trip years ago. That sounds like the best thing ever. I have always wanted to do that. But with only 2 weeks vacation - it makes it a little difficult - note to self - negotiate for more vacation time at next job. A friend of mine also took a road trip with her husband and loved just hearing about it, so I could live through them. My mom and her brothers took an East coast road trip a few years ago too.
A road trip sounds like a great vacation. I want to do the west coast. I am thinking maybe fly in to AZ or Nevada or CA and start driving. I could probably get a week in. There are so many places I want to go - still want to do Niagara Falls and Canada - maybe the Toronto Jazz Festival...
I was particularly inspired by the ESPN series 50 states in 50 days. I would have loved to do that. I enjoyed the series. They went to every US State and highlighted some of the states "must see or must do" places and talked about sports legends or sporting activies in that particular state...
I think I spend more time thinking about vacation than I do about - well a lot of other things. My travel fund is growing, so although I don't know where I am going yet, I am going somewhere!
A road trip sounds like a great vacation. I want to do the west coast. I am thinking maybe fly in to AZ or Nevada or CA and start driving. I could probably get a week in. There are so many places I want to go - still want to do Niagara Falls and Canada - maybe the Toronto Jazz Festival...
I was particularly inspired by the ESPN series 50 states in 50 days. I would have loved to do that. I enjoyed the series. They went to every US State and highlighted some of the states "must see or must do" places and talked about sports legends or sporting activies in that particular state...
I think I spend more time thinking about vacation than I do about - well a lot of other things. My travel fund is growing, so although I don't know where I am going yet, I am going somewhere!
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Preparation
I need more time to get myself together. I want to be ready when the opportunity is presented. As more and more changes occur, it's obvious that I need to prepare. I think these changes are the push I need to keep me focused. Out of mass confusion can come clarity.
I sense that a few people are re-evaluating things, so I am not alone in this mission.
Time will tell.
I sense that a few people are re-evaluating things, so I am not alone in this mission.
Time will tell.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Winds of Change
It wasn't a matter of if - it was a matter of when. I guess the time was sooner that I thought. I made a promise to myself and I intend to keep it.
I worked toward my dream today by:
Putting a lot of my ideas on paper
Making phone calls to gather material for my clip reel
Making a phone call on behalf of someone else's dream
I worked toward my dream today by:
Putting a lot of my ideas on paper
Making phone calls to gather material for my clip reel
Making a phone call on behalf of someone else's dream
A Life Well Lived
Today I went to a funeral for my co-worker's mom. I had never met his mom and for the time I have known him - she had been very sick. It felt a little awkward to go to a funeral for a person you've never met, but I have such respect and admiration for him, I felt I had to go. A lot of us went. As the services proceeded, I realized that although I never met her, I did know her. I knew her through him. As more and more people spoke of her wonderful qualities, I saw all of those things in him. He is a class act.
I looked around to see who came to the funeral and people of all ages and backgrounds were there. To me that is a sign of life well lived. She managed to touch people outside of her comfort zone. She had been an actively involved in the Civil Rights Movement and loved her family, friends, and God and the church. She was a teacher and loved children.
My coworker requested that while flowers were welcome, a donation to a childrens' charity in her name would be welcome as well. I will be sure to do that. I think my co-worker was really moved that so many of us came out today.
I re-learned two things today.
1. Your presence is often more important than your presents. Sometimes just being there is enough - and often better than not being there and sending a gift.
2. The greatest legacy you can leave is how you impact and influence others. His mom touched a lot of lives and her spirit and characteristics live on in him and probably in a lot of her family and friends. That is a wonderful testament of her life.
I looked around to see who came to the funeral and people of all ages and backgrounds were there. To me that is a sign of life well lived. She managed to touch people outside of her comfort zone. She had been an actively involved in the Civil Rights Movement and loved her family, friends, and God and the church. She was a teacher and loved children.
My coworker requested that while flowers were welcome, a donation to a childrens' charity in her name would be welcome as well. I will be sure to do that. I think my co-worker was really moved that so many of us came out today.
I re-learned two things today.
1. Your presence is often more important than your presents. Sometimes just being there is enough - and often better than not being there and sending a gift.
2. The greatest legacy you can leave is how you impact and influence others. His mom touched a lot of lives and her spirit and characteristics live on in him and probably in a lot of her family and friends. That is a wonderful testament of her life.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
MLK Day
I took a moment to reflect on the life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr, what he represented and how one person could have such a far reaching impact on United States and the world at large. Then I thought of one of my former classmates. We were friends for awhile. She- Hispanic-American and me - African-American. Other than our height and affinity for the same music, we had little else in common. Yet we managed to stay friends for awhile.
One day she commented that she didn't know why we got a day off for Martin Luther King's Birthday. She went on to say that "It's not like he really did anything all that great - he never did anything for me." For the life of me, I am not sure why she felt comfortable telling me that - she would tell me things like "she didn't see me as black, because I wasn't like any other black person" (perhaps because I talked "proper" - another culture shock I experienced when moving to the South). I digress. I told her that she didn't have to celebrate his birthday if she didn't want to but if it were not for his work, we may have never had the opportunity to meet. She blew that comment off and still maintained that she didn't understand why we had to have the day off. (Strange, I hardly ever complain about a day off)
I told my mom what she said and she was furious and I think she wanted me to end our friendship. She didn't ever explicitly say that - but it was clear that her opinion of her had changed. I think that (or at least I hope) that my former classmate, was only repeating something she heard in her home.
It was interesting in the future, she would say a lot more things with which I disagreed. She didn't believe in interracial relationships. I can still see the way she would frown when she would see an interracial couple. Me, being me, said, "you don't have to believe them for them to exist." She didn't believe in pre-marital sex - ironically she was the first one in our circle to lose her virginity - and not surprisingly - I was the last. I am pretty sure she didn't marry that guy - at least I hope not. He had a couple other girlfriends on the side.
She once stopped speaking to me because when she asked me if I was pro-life, I said no. She was furious with me. She didn't speak to me for a week. How bizarre, that the abortion debate mattered that much at such a young age - we were probably around 13 or 14. Because she was Catholic, she didn't believe in birth control, so I guess I could understand and repsect her stance. I had a hard time understanding why she couldn't seem to respect my point of view.
As the years passed, we grew apart. Last I spoke to her, she lived at home with her parents and worked as an accountant. That was about 3 years ago. I wonder if any of her ideas changed over the years, not so much the pro-life stuff, but the Martin Luther King, Jr, ideology. I hope so.
One day she commented that she didn't know why we got a day off for Martin Luther King's Birthday. She went on to say that "It's not like he really did anything all that great - he never did anything for me." For the life of me, I am not sure why she felt comfortable telling me that - she would tell me things like "she didn't see me as black, because I wasn't like any other black person" (perhaps because I talked "proper" - another culture shock I experienced when moving to the South). I digress. I told her that she didn't have to celebrate his birthday if she didn't want to but if it were not for his work, we may have never had the opportunity to meet. She blew that comment off and still maintained that she didn't understand why we had to have the day off. (Strange, I hardly ever complain about a day off)
I told my mom what she said and she was furious and I think she wanted me to end our friendship. She didn't ever explicitly say that - but it was clear that her opinion of her had changed. I think that (or at least I hope) that my former classmate, was only repeating something she heard in her home.
It was interesting in the future, she would say a lot more things with which I disagreed. She didn't believe in interracial relationships. I can still see the way she would frown when she would see an interracial couple. Me, being me, said, "you don't have to believe them for them to exist." She didn't believe in pre-marital sex - ironically she was the first one in our circle to lose her virginity - and not surprisingly - I was the last. I am pretty sure she didn't marry that guy - at least I hope not. He had a couple other girlfriends on the side.
She once stopped speaking to me because when she asked me if I was pro-life, I said no. She was furious with me. She didn't speak to me for a week. How bizarre, that the abortion debate mattered that much at such a young age - we were probably around 13 or 14. Because she was Catholic, she didn't believe in birth control, so I guess I could understand and repsect her stance. I had a hard time understanding why she couldn't seem to respect my point of view.
As the years passed, we grew apart. Last I spoke to her, she lived at home with her parents and worked as an accountant. That was about 3 years ago. I wonder if any of her ideas changed over the years, not so much the pro-life stuff, but the Martin Luther King, Jr, ideology. I hope so.
Monday, January 16, 2006
My Mother's Daughter
It's funny to think of all the times I promised myself that I wouldn't be like my mother and here I am - so similar it's scary. I remember when she made me mad, I swore I would never act like her when I grew up. But it happened - and before I could stop myself, her words were coming out of my mouth. I suspect this condition will get worse when I have children of my own.
But I hear her through me when I am at the grocery store "I remember when you could get eggs at (insert price here)" The only difference being the price. Did I just say that out loud?
I think one of the things that irritated me the most is when she would ask a question that she already knows the answer. Like, who ate the last of the cookies, Cindy? Or who burned this pot trying to fry bologna, GP? Arrghh, you already know I ate the last of (just about anything sweet) and you know a lot of the things my brother would do.... What are you trying to prove?
Yet I do the same thing.
She used to always use this reverse psychology thing where she allowed you to believe you were making your own decision, but in essence she was influencing the decision the whole time. There was a time when I didn't make the "correct" decision and the facade was lifted. She then flat out said "no" and I asked then "why did you make me feel as if I had a choice?"
Arrgghh I hated that - and even though I made a vow not to do that to my kids, based on my current behavior I have to say "outlook not so good"
But I hear her through me when I am at the grocery store "I remember when you could get eggs at (insert price here)" The only difference being the price. Did I just say that out loud?
I think one of the things that irritated me the most is when she would ask a question that she already knows the answer. Like, who ate the last of the cookies, Cindy? Or who burned this pot trying to fry bologna, GP? Arrghh, you already know I ate the last of (just about anything sweet) and you know a lot of the things my brother would do.... What are you trying to prove?
Yet I do the same thing.
She used to always use this reverse psychology thing where she allowed you to believe you were making your own decision, but in essence she was influencing the decision the whole time. There was a time when I didn't make the "correct" decision and the facade was lifted. She then flat out said "no" and I asked then "why did you make me feel as if I had a choice?"
Arrgghh I hated that - and even though I made a vow not to do that to my kids, based on my current behavior I have to say "outlook not so good"
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Faith
I am so proud of myself. Today I acted on faith rather than fear. When offered a less than appetizing shot at stability, I chose to be still. I chose to believe that something better is ahead for me. It's one thing for me to know that deep down, but it's quite another for me to verbalize it - to act on it.
I spoke from the heart. I didn't lie to myself or to the person who was on the other side of the conversation. I was honest about what I want and need and it felt so good. It was like it was my official declaration to the universe. It was liberating.
I promised myself that this year I work towards moving away from project management. The truth is, I don't like it very much - at least not from what I have experienced so far. It is more like problem management.... I am good at it, but it is a just a pit stop.
I will admit with all the changes at my company, the offer was tempting - but I am feeling a little burned out right now, so a little stability in the short term is not what is best in the long term.
I have always believed that God put me here for so much more, now I am starting to act on that.
I spoke from the heart. I didn't lie to myself or to the person who was on the other side of the conversation. I was honest about what I want and need and it felt so good. It was like it was my official declaration to the universe. It was liberating.
I promised myself that this year I work towards moving away from project management. The truth is, I don't like it very much - at least not from what I have experienced so far. It is more like problem management.... I am good at it, but it is a just a pit stop.
I will admit with all the changes at my company, the offer was tempting - but I am feeling a little burned out right now, so a little stability in the short term is not what is best in the long term.
I have always believed that God put me here for so much more, now I am starting to act on that.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Resolution Check
So we are 10 days into the new year and I wanted to follow up on my resolutions.
So far, I have managed to set aside $100/wk in addition to my travel fund of $10/wk.
I have started faithfully going to the gym or working out on my own.
Fast food has essentially been nixed.
I have found it difficult to cook twice a week, but I have managed. Well the first week, I only cooked once...but I made up for it this week.
I still have been consumed with work, we were subjected to a lot of changes as soon as we got back - so much so that it has drained my energy.
Meaning, the writing hasn't happened, but it will. That is where the most improvement is needed.
So far, I have managed to set aside $100/wk in addition to my travel fund of $10/wk.
I have started faithfully going to the gym or working out on my own.
Fast food has essentially been nixed.
I have found it difficult to cook twice a week, but I have managed. Well the first week, I only cooked once...but I made up for it this week.
I still have been consumed with work, we were subjected to a lot of changes as soon as we got back - so much so that it has drained my energy.
Meaning, the writing hasn't happened, but it will. That is where the most improvement is needed.
Something to Believe In
Recently I had a talk with my cousin and she told me she was giving up Starbucks. In my mind, that is just crazy talk (other than the $3 per visit price tag) She told me it was because they are a big supporter of the homosexual agenda, mainly they support gay marriage or civil unions. I don't really know how true that is, nor am I hugely concerned. It is certainly not an issue I am willing to give up my morning boost for. I just think it is interesting that she feels so strongly about an issue that she is making a lifestyle change because of it.
It got me to thinking...are there businesses whose services I would be willing to forgo because of the owner's political stance? I am not sure. I guess if anything, I would consider boycotting businesses that support the more conservative right wing agendas.
I am not sure I am there yet. As a general rule, I don't shop at Wal-mart unless I am completely desperate (which is rare). I probably went to Wal-mart less than 10 times last year - I probably spent less than $200 during that entire time period as well. I think their employment practices are abysmal at best and has set the trend of "wal-martization" of our society. "Wal-martization" meaning spend "less" on the assumption that you are getting the same, but in actuality your getting less. That's a whole new blog....
I said all that to say, I think it is admirable that my cousin has the determination to stand up for her beliefs (although I don't share those particular beliefs). I wish more people would make conscientious choices about their consumer practices - I think our dollars would certainly yield more power if we were more selective about how and where we used them.
It got me to thinking...are there businesses whose services I would be willing to forgo because of the owner's political stance? I am not sure. I guess if anything, I would consider boycotting businesses that support the more conservative right wing agendas.
I am not sure I am there yet. As a general rule, I don't shop at Wal-mart unless I am completely desperate (which is rare). I probably went to Wal-mart less than 10 times last year - I probably spent less than $200 during that entire time period as well. I think their employment practices are abysmal at best and has set the trend of "wal-martization" of our society. "Wal-martization" meaning spend "less" on the assumption that you are getting the same, but in actuality your getting less. That's a whole new blog....
I said all that to say, I think it is admirable that my cousin has the determination to stand up for her beliefs (although I don't share those particular beliefs). I wish more people would make conscientious choices about their consumer practices - I think our dollars would certainly yield more power if we were more selective about how and where we used them.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Boomerang
I have been thinking about it and I am not so sure jumping ship right now is the best option for me. Practically, it would probably be ok - but I think that is a move based on fear rather than a move I really would like to make.
Let's be honest, my heart isn't in it. It could possibly be an increase monetarily, but I am not sure that would even be worth it. The committment to another year of this....I just don't know if I can do it - even if it is at another facility. It would be more of the same.
I think I just want any movement on my part to be on my own terms and more importantly I don't just want another job - I want to do something that provides more than every other week for me.
The best part about the job I have now is the interaction with a variety of clients. I admit, I am not thrilled with the organizational changes, particularly about my supervisor. It is still really hard to walk in and see him sitting in that office.
I have a lot of thinking to do.
Let's be honest, my heart isn't in it. It could possibly be an increase monetarily, but I am not sure that would even be worth it. The committment to another year of this....I just don't know if I can do it - even if it is at another facility. It would be more of the same.
I think I just want any movement on my part to be on my own terms and more importantly I don't just want another job - I want to do something that provides more than every other week for me.
The best part about the job I have now is the interaction with a variety of clients. I admit, I am not thrilled with the organizational changes, particularly about my supervisor. It is still really hard to walk in and see him sitting in that office.
I have a lot of thinking to do.
Phishing
I almost got it. In a way, things being crazy was a good thing as I hadn't had a chance to check my email. If I had I would have been scammed. I checked it this morning and this is what it read:
Subject Line: Unusual login attempts to your personal account!
Dear VyStar CU Customer,
We recently noticed several attempts to log in to your personal account from a foreign IP address and we have reasons to believe that your account was used by a third party without your authorization. If you recently accessed your account while traveling, the unusual login attempts may have been initiated by you.
The login attempt was made from:
IP address: 172.25.210.66
ISP Host: cache-66.proxy.aol.com
After three unsuccessful attempts to access your account, your personal Online Profile has been locked. This has been done to secure your accounts and to protect your private information. We are trying to make sure that your online transactions are secure.
You must unlock your profile by going to:
http://www.vystarcu.org/index.ht ml
If you should have any additional questions or concerns, please contact Customer Service at: service@vystar.org
Thank You for using VyStar CU ! ©2006 VyStar Credit Union. All rights reserved
Upon a cursory glance, it looks legit, but by the time I got to the link, it had been shut down. I went to my credit union's website, and it had an email/fraud alert that reads exactly as this email reads....
Upon re-reading the email, I now see some of the inconsistencies between this email and my credit union. My real credit union web address ends in .com instead of .org
It's scary though that someone got a list of email addresses and this attempt was made. I can't imagine what would have happened had I checked my email earlier this week and taken the bait.
Subject Line: Unusual login attempts to your personal account!
Dear VyStar CU Customer,
We recently noticed several attempts to log in to your personal account from a foreign IP address and we have reasons to believe that your account was used by a third party without your authorization. If you recently accessed your account while traveling, the unusual login attempts may have been initiated by you.
The login attempt was made from:
IP address: 172.25.210.66
ISP Host: cache-66.proxy.aol.com
After three unsuccessful attempts to access your account, your personal Online Profile has been locked. This has been done to secure your accounts and to protect your private information. We are trying to make sure that your online transactions are secure.
You must unlock your profile by going to:
http://www.vystarcu.org/index.ht ml
If you should have any additional questions or concerns, please contact Customer Service at: service@vystar.org
Thank You for using VyStar CU ! ©2006 VyStar Credit Union. All rights reserved
Upon a cursory glance, it looks legit, but by the time I got to the link, it had been shut down. I went to my credit union's website, and it had an email/fraud alert that reads exactly as this email reads....
Upon re-reading the email, I now see some of the inconsistencies between this email and my credit union. My real credit union web address ends in .com instead of .org
It's scary though that someone got a list of email addresses and this attempt was made. I can't imagine what would have happened had I checked my email earlier this week and taken the bait.
It almost makes sense
So I understand the what's, why's and where's. I just don't understand the who's. I think there has been a lot of false advertisement.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Unbelievable
Yesterday was the worst. I knew it was an omen when I woke up with an attitude. I didn't want to go to work, but little did I know what was about to go down. I went from having the best boss in the world to...it was just really sad. It was termed something cute - like reorganization. They basically eliminated my manager's position and reassigned him to another department. In essence it was a demotion. His position was essentially split and now there are three point people. But the worst is that the person they put over department was in that position before and was removed (with good reason from what I've heard) and it seems that ever since he was reassigned he has been plotting to get his old job back. His reputation is...not so good. I don't know anyone who likes or respects him. In fact, before I came to the company, people warned me about him. Clients don't seem to like him either. I really can't understand why this decision was made. It is obvious that it's not my place to say one way or the other. It's not easy to deal with, but it is what it is. You know, I think the hardest thing is the way it went down. Perhaps you have to be underhanded to get ahead. He's been scheming on my boss for the longest - it's sickening.
Even still, it doesn't seem like the best judgment by upper management and that in itself makes me a little nervous about the direction of the company. I mean why reinstate a person to a position who was removed and who people consistently complained about? My dealings with him have been limited. My impression is that he is anal retentive, way too detailed oriented and a micro-manager. I just don't think he is a big picture person - and I think you need that for the position he is taking. But what do I know.....
From what I have heard, he is completely inept, which would be okay if he had people skills... He moved into my ex-manager's office today. It was painful to watch them trade offices. I almost wanted to cry. I wanted to cry for my old boss and I wanted to cry for me and everyone in our department. The ink had not even dried on my 401k forms. Why even bother? I don't even know what will happen with all this change.
I need the shock to wear off. Perhaps he has changed. Perhaps it will get better. Glad I have other things outside of work to look forward to.
Even still, it doesn't seem like the best judgment by upper management and that in itself makes me a little nervous about the direction of the company. I mean why reinstate a person to a position who was removed and who people consistently complained about? My dealings with him have been limited. My impression is that he is anal retentive, way too detailed oriented and a micro-manager. I just don't think he is a big picture person - and I think you need that for the position he is taking. But what do I know.....
From what I have heard, he is completely inept, which would be okay if he had people skills... He moved into my ex-manager's office today. It was painful to watch them trade offices. I almost wanted to cry. I wanted to cry for my old boss and I wanted to cry for me and everyone in our department. The ink had not even dried on my 401k forms. Why even bother? I don't even know what will happen with all this change.
I need the shock to wear off. Perhaps he has changed. Perhaps it will get better. Glad I have other things outside of work to look forward to.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Fearless
I had such a great time with my little cousins and part of the reason is they are such little people - so full of personality and unapologetically unique. They don't compromise themselves because of what others think and they are fearlessly invincible. It is one of the beautiful things about youth.
I often wonder when my personality became impaired with fear. Fear of what others would think if they saw the real me. I mean you still get me, but in a less potent dose - particularly around new people. I can remember certain parts of my personality were not so embraceable to the adults in my life - for instance, I am stubborn. I am also strong willed. Once I lose respect for a person, they are useless to me - and I had no problems letting the person know about it.
Granted those aren't the sugary sweet sides to my personality, but I think those traits are just as essential. When I deny those sides of me out of concern for what others think, I usually regret it.
I would like to recepture some of those traits and use them for good ;).
I often wonder when my personality became impaired with fear. Fear of what others would think if they saw the real me. I mean you still get me, but in a less potent dose - particularly around new people. I can remember certain parts of my personality were not so embraceable to the adults in my life - for instance, I am stubborn. I am also strong willed. Once I lose respect for a person, they are useless to me - and I had no problems letting the person know about it.
Granted those aren't the sugary sweet sides to my personality, but I think those traits are just as essential. When I deny those sides of me out of concern for what others think, I usually regret it.
I would like to recepture some of those traits and use them for good ;).
Happy New Year
It's a brand new year and another chance at living life to the fullest.
New Years Eve was fun and low key. Apparently I was pretty giddy, judging from the photos ;)
On tap for today: Since it is such a beautiful day. I figured I'd go for a walk either over the Key Bridge or by National Airport. That area is one of my favorites and I am not sure how much longer we will have such beautiful weather.
Then it's football and household chores. I think I might use one of those awesome bath fizzers and give myself a mini spa treatment.
Here's to a fabulous 2006!
New Years Eve was fun and low key. Apparently I was pretty giddy, judging from the photos ;)
On tap for today: Since it is such a beautiful day. I figured I'd go for a walk either over the Key Bridge or by National Airport. That area is one of my favorites and I am not sure how much longer we will have such beautiful weather.
Then it's football and household chores. I think I might use one of those awesome bath fizzers and give myself a mini spa treatment.
Here's to a fabulous 2006!
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