I Believe in You

This is to someone very close to my heart. I want you to know that I love you and that your are in my thoughts and prayers. I believe you will get through this and become a better person in the process. Just know that if you need a shoulder, I am here for you.

Did You Know that

November is National Novel Writing Month? http://www.nanowrimo.org/

It is quite an ambitious undertaking. I am not sure if I am up to the challenge, but I still have a couple of days to decide.

It could be fun and we do gain an hour....

The Gospel

The Gospel was a nice end to an exhausting day. I don't normally go to movies through the week and certainly not after 5pm. (I prefer matinee prices) But after today, I knew I needed to take a mental break. Time to focus on something other than the crazy world of television production...

Turns out the gospel is just what I needed ;) It is a Rob Hardy film (a famu alum) and is a little different from his film style. The story seemed to be loosely based on the prodigal son parable in the Bible. Overall I enjoyed the flick. I will say it was difficult to buy Boris Kodjoe as a singer, much less an R&B star. He is way too stiff to pull off the look of a gospel singer (which is what he ended up doing) But aside from that I enjoyed the story line. I particuarly enjoyed Clifton Powell's performance. His role as the Bishop was so well portrayed, he felt so familiar and beleivable - like one of the pastor's I remember from childhood. Tamyra Gray was refreshing as always.

I thought the story line was good. I loved the interaction between father and son. It was touching. Some of the church scenes were had way too many cuts, but that is director in me coming out. Since I used to direct church services, I have a certain style that I appreciate. Some scenes were done really well - the choir scene with the children was a nice moment and the alter call scene was good. I almost cried - almost.

Overall, I think it was pretty good. Most of all, it was a nice way to wind down from a crazy day.

Smokin'

What a wacky smoke detector. Every morning after I shower, if I forget to close the bathroom door the smoke detector will go off - becaue of the steam. It's annoying because my natural inclination is to leave the door open so that the bathroom can cool off and the mirrors can clear up. But like clockwork, everytime I leave the door open, momentarily it will start beeping - and then I have to find a chair (as I am still draped in a towel) and tiptoe up to take the batteries out.

I should find comfort in knowing that smoke detector is sensitive and however annoying is necessary for the safety of everyone. That is - until about a week ago - one of my housemates decided to cook (which is dangerous already)and ended up burning a piece of bread (I know). He didn't even realize it until somebody said, "what's that I smell burning" All of sudden, he runs to the kitchen to retrieve his now burnt bread. Smoke is everywhere - the smell has permeated almost every room in the house and...

Not one peep from that crazy smoke detector. Not one! But it responds to bathroom steam! Unbelievable.

The Fat Lady and other random thoughts

I wonder where that phrase "It ain't over til the fat lady sings" came from? Did it have something to do with opera? Maybe I will look it up, if I remember. This thought was spawned by a sign I saw while watching the World Series tonight stating "the fat lady isn't even in the building"....


I also wonder where did the term "broad" come from and why is it used in reference to women. It is quite an irritating word indeed.

Did they really used to put cocaine in Coca Cola? Is that why it was addictive? What do they put in Starbucks?


Why does Ashanti have her own fragrance? I am not hating or anything, well maybe I am a little.

So much for random thoughts....see what happens when I have a little time on my hands.

Karma

Sometimes I feel like I that I am a coldhearted person. Everyday when I walk down the street to my job, there is always somebody asking for money or random stuff. This morning for instance, a guy asked to used my cell phone so he could call his job. The old me would have probably let him use it, but I didn't want to. He looked a little sketchy and I thought about how I would want to lysol my phone afterwards - eh it just wouldn't be worth the feel good feeling you get from being to kind to someone else. So I told him - yeah...I don't want to. Probably not nice - but it was true. Shortly after, one of the usuals was asking if I could spare a little change? Do you not see me walking to work, I think... If I had chance to spare, I wouldn't be up at this hour headed to work...

I have a hard time giving to men on the streets. I am more inclined to give to women than men. There is something about a man begging that I find to be - distasteful. Some of the men on the streets now look younger and younger - which I find to be even more troubling. What could be more pathetic than a guy around my age out on the street begging? Are they just physically unable to work? I don't get it.

It isn't that I don't have compassion for those who have fallen on hard times. I know what it is like to be unemployed for a spell. I can sympathize - to a degree. I always have a twinge of guilt when I ignore someone or I say no. Sometimes I think about "what would Jesus do?" Jesus primarily focused on the less fortunate. But I guess I am not there yet. I am sympathetic to those who are victims of bad luck, not bad decisions.

Those who face finaincial ruin due to a natural disaster, illness, or job loss - well that really isn't their fault, but people who chose not to get an education or get a job. That is perplexing to me. How did they not get the memo that you need money to live? America has a lot of crap wrong with it, but last I checked it was free to get a high school diploma.

I often wonder what happens to a person that they end up on the streets. It really isn't my place to judge. I am fortunate to have had one parent in my corner. I am blessed now to have a job that allows me to provide for myself.

Sometimes I wonder if my saying "no" so much will come back to haunt me. I generally aim for good karma. Not that this will mean much to the karma gods, but I did buy a random guy a cup of coffee this past Saturday simply because he asked. Starbucks at that....

Expect the Unexpected

There is nothing better than receiving unexpected cash. Last week, I got my deposit check back from my last apartment complex. I had all but forgotten about that, especially since I moved about 3 months ago. But even better than that, my boss arranged for me to get paid overtime this past pay period! (I worked almost 80 in one week alone). He mentioned that he would try, but I didn't want to get my hopes up and then be disappointed. I got my check Friday, but it was my regular check, but I got a call late Friday evening stating that I had another check waiting for me. Thank you God for smiling on me. Thank you for a boss that actually looks out for us - he is going to make sure we get paid overtime on a regular basis. This would have never happened with my previous boss.

What is interesting is, I really don't mind getting comp time (I didn't have that at my old job either) In fact after this past month, I was thinking of getting a passport and picking a place on the map and just going....


The extra cash will just help get me closer to being debt free (and I will get a winter coat) I think the best thing is my boss recognizes our contributions and he seems to be genuinely concerned with our well being.

Riveting TV

What could be better than My Super Sweet Sixteen and America's Next Top Model?

Thanks goodness for DVR.

Bootleg Cell Phone

My LA friend always teases me about my cell phone because in the entire time he has known me - my cell phones have always been crappy. This latest one being no exception. I can no longer charge it from the wall outlet. So I can only charge it in the car except I really don't drive so there isn't much opportunity to let it charge. I said all that to say, my battery is either dead or almost about to die, giving me only a brief moment in time to talk.

I said all that to say I need a new battery at the least....but given my inclination to procrastinate, I am not too sure when that will happen.

Production

I love production and I would do a lot more often given the opportunity. However, when I am entrnched in production I have little time for anything else - other than sleeping and the occasional nutritionally challenged meal. I did make time to stop by Victoria Secret's to buy some more underwear, since I didn't have time to do laundry. Those low rise panties are fantastic - that has changed my life.

Today we were all sitting around talking about what we do if we won the lottery - apparently it is at about 380 million. It was nice just to take that 5 minutes and just dream...I would take a lump sum after taxes - pay off all my debt (and my moms), travel, invest in some real estate, find the best medical care that money can buy for my mom, and hire a darn good financial planner so I could be set for life and so that my children could be set. I would also give a lot to Habitat for Humanity - as that is one of my favorite organizations. I would start my own porduction company and oh yeah - I would no longer be a project manager ;)

Last night, I talked to one of my DCI buddies and it was so refreshing. I felt inspired just talking her. I just love her energy and drive and enthusiasm. Hopefully we make time to do lunch. I miss our time together. But I am sure our paths will cross again soon.

My huge production is finally over and it wasn't without its share of mania. All par for the course I guess. I am already working on new projects, but I will also will planning a trip somewhere....

It will Only Take a Few Minutes

or "We'll fix it in post" Those are the words that as a project manager make me wince. It will almost always a significantly longer time than expected. Words like "quick fix" in my world means an entire day. And "we'll fix it in post" really means we should deal with this now, but it can be fixed in editing (we hope)...yeah in about 5 times the amount of time it would take if you just stopped and fixed it now...

ahhh production - i love it....

But When Will I Ever Use This?

Today as I was standing in line at Cosi, I noticed that the young woman in front of me was reading something that looked vaguely familiar. Ahh yes, I remember - it was Calculus. I saw something that looked liked the integer sign (or a squirly in my world) and something that looked like a limit. How funny that I hadn't seen that since college. It was so important to me then - just so I could pass, so I could get in to med school, blah, blah, blah....

In fact, it's been so long, it looked foreign. As a matter of fact, I couldn't figure how integers and mimits fit together or if they are related. I guess it's true, if you don't use it, you lose it.

I guess I really don't have an answer to that question. What am I going to say to my kids when they ask me why they have to learn trigonometry - it's not like they'll ever use it... They may just have a point. I can only think of a couple of professions where that might come in handy. I guess I got time to come up with a clever answer.

Private Eyes

I got a strange call today. I was informed that someone was looking for me - a private investigator. Did I miss something? Who in the world would want to find me? I paid my stinking Maryland taxes, I don't owe anybody money that I know of...my life really isn't that interesting. That's really creeping me out. I don't remember anyone asking me to be a reference for them. My job already investigated me...they didn't find anything too exciting either. I have racked my brain trying to figure out who, what, when, where and why? The only way I would welcome a PI is if one of my old childhood friends was trying to find me. Nothing else could be good... People don't usually hunt you down to give you a pot of money.

The truth is, I don't want to be investigated. I have an average life. I get up, go to work and there's not time for much else. I hope whoever is investigating me gives up the search. I just want peace of mind. Drama is so unpretty on me.

Dude, where's my keys

I thought it was a great idea to get out of the city for a a day or two, since I will be working for the next 12 days straight. My weekend was supposed to start with a trip to the hairdresser for a relaxer and a trim. I even took pictures of my last day with natural hair as a memento. But it wasn't meant to be because I spent 30 minutes looking for my keys. I must say that is a record. I don't think I have ever spent that long - they weren't in any of the usual places and I turned the place upside down looking for them. I became so frustrated I was almost in tears. They ended uo being in the kitchen which is extremely unsusual, since I am rarely there. Sadly, I wasn't even the one who found them. So I still make my way out there, hoping there was a possibility I could be on time, but it was raining and the traffic was not cooperative. As it turns out, I was 30 minutes late to my appointment and could not have my hair done. I would have to be reschedule, but since I have to work 12 days straight who knows when I will be able to go back...I guess I will have to be natural a couple more weeks.

After that it was off to Wilmington, DE - the place where we would be staying since all the hotels in Philly were booked. By we - I mean me and my friend. We are er, um "hanging out". What would normally be about a two hour drive took 4+ hours. It took two hours just to get out of the DC Metro area. It rained and rained and rained some more.

After we got settled, we drove to Philly to hang out with one of his friends. We walked about 20 blocks in the rain and ended up and Jamaican eatery - from there we met with some more people and ended up going to a club called the Five Spot. It was a nice time, but after that we were tired and just ready to get back to the room and that is when the adventure started.

After we got to the parking garage, the attendant claimed that the car wasn't there. It's one of those parking garages where they keep your keys. I have never been too comfortable withthat arrangement especially after my car mysteriously got scrathced while it was parked in one of those lots, but I digress. My friend was getting upset, because the original attendant never gave us a ticket and there was a new attendant on duty. We were both soaking wet from the rain and tired which added to the irritation. The attendant repeatedly said he didn't have the car and at that point I was ready to call the police. The attendant went to search again and this time he found the car - I guess he realized we weren't going anywhere (especially without a car) To top things off, he tried to charge $10, when we had already paid when we first pulled into the lot. My friend was agitated and probably not in the best condition to drive.

We pulled out and then we got a little lost. I suppose he appeared to be driving erratically and neither of us noticed that our lights weren't on. And in no time there were flashing lights. I had no idea why were being pulled over, since we were just trying to figure out how to get back to our room. The officer came to the window and my friend started babbling and babbling. I just wanted him to shut up, because he was just repeating himself. He tends to babble when he is nervous. Well, the officer made him get out of the car and made him take a series of tests to determine if he was driving under the influence. Whoa, I was nervous - he had a couple of drinks, but I didn't think he was drunk.

Why didn't I just drive, I hadn't had a drop of alcohol and I wasn't nearly as agitated as he had been. I mean, would he really drive drunk? I offered to drive, didn't I? I couldn't remember. I should have just insisted. But he didn't seem drunk - surely I know the difference. He can handle a lot more then two drinks - and some time had passed. But was it enough time? I should have known not to let him drive after he was so angry at the parking attendant. Oh my god - this can't be happening. What do I do? I can't do anything - but wait. My mind was numb. I helplessly watched wishing I could take the test for him. It was scary.

He had to say his ABCs - which he did. Then he had to stand on one foot and do this weird kick thing (which I would probably have trouble doing sober) Then he had to walk heel toe, heel toe turn and repeat. Phew, he did that pretty well. Ok maybe things would be ok afterall. Then he had to follow a small flashlgiht with his eyes without turning his head. I was scared because his back was to me and I couldn't see what was happening. I saw his head move a couple of times - dang why didn't I drive? Then, the test was over and my friend came and sat in the car with me. We tried to talk about other things while we waited, but it was hard. If the worst happened, I would just have to come get him, we decided. But he still didn't seem drunk - just nervous. We waited for what seemed like an eternity. Finally the officer came back to the car. A ticket, for driving without the headlights on and he gave us directions to get back to our room. I would have been happier with a warning, but under the circumstances, it was ok. We made it back to the room, without any more misadventures. What a crazy end to our day.

Saturday was much better. It was still raining, but we went to the Ebony Fashion Fair - Fit to be Fabulous. I hadn't gone to a showing in a long time, but it was a good show. Eight scenes - some of which I thought were weird, but I liked the colorful scenes - lots of orange and yellow - nice. I think my friend liked the swimwear ;) The hip hop scene was my least favorite - the clothes were needlessly expensive and too over the top. The showstopper was a two piece number which made me reconsider the virtues of crunches. It was hot!

After the show, we went to Ruth Chris Steak House, which was a first for me. I must say the dish I enjoyed most was the lobster bisque. I didn't have any steak - I just wasn't in the mood for a big ol hunk of meat. So I had the stuffed chicken - eh - it was just alright. The stuffing definitely wasn't worth the caloric intake. But after a little doctoring up, the chicken was bearable. Amazing was a little lemon juice and pepper can do.

We drove back to the room with only a few scares. It was pouring and the car kept getting pummelled with rain from the big wheelers driving by. We made it back safely and settled in for a n evening a college football. It was nice and dry.

And today it was time to return from our adventurous weekend away. It was good to get away even with all of the craziness.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

or something like that. Yesterday was bittersweet. I went to a "Choices" reunion/going away party. It was so great to see everyone again. We laughed, we reminisced - we drank - it was good times all over again. But then we said farewell. Rocky, Nic and D are all moving to LA. Not that I didn't see it coming, but they are all leaving at about the same time. Rocky and I haven't hung out since mid-July and she spent most of that time preparing to move.

It is inevitable when you have talented, creative actor friends that they will eventually move to NY or LA. I have been through this before, but it is still hard to say goodbye.

I am so happy for them and proud of them. I feel blessed that I even know them and that I can count them as friends. But there is a small part of me that is a little envious. I wish I had the courage to take that plunge and move out to LA. I love LA -the beach, the mountains, the lifestyle. But I think I love the idea of LA - the idea of having more opportunities to actually do something....creative.

At any rate, I wish them well. Since I am working on the whole keeping in touch thing, this will be yet another test of my progress (or lack of). I can't wait to see their names in the credits.

You Gotta Know When to Hold 'em

I went to my first poker night with some co-workers last night and it was so much fun. We had a poker lesson the day before at lunch which helped, but I was the only one that had to refer to my cheat sheet. I loved the whole bluffing, the not knowing - the intimidation - it was great. I think I have found a new addiction.

Bottom Feeders

It's time to kick it up a notch. I am tired of dealing with low budgets who expect above and beyond anything reasonable. I swear the lower the budget, the more work is involved. I recently handled a bigger client who was a lot less trouble than some of the other ones. What's even worse is the lower budget clients tend to be lsee organized - which leaves me holding the back.

I think I had three of the worst clients all this past week. All, unfortunately were people who look like me. Granted I have a couple of great clients who look like me, the bad ones are just - really bad.

So disorganized, which always costs me more time - which in turn upsets me. I am work now, and that is ok. At least with this client - I knew about it in advance. At least, they take an active role in their own production. That, I can handle.

At any rate, work is work. Sometimes it is great, and sometimes it just is. I feel myself getting restless. There is something about me that won't allow me to just settle. I guess it is because I am not exactly where I need to be yet, so I am still in search mode....