34 Days and Counting...

I am trying not to get too excited about my new job (which when I am work is pretty easy to do) considering I am so ready to give up my current job. I wish I could take the next 30 days off, so when I get back I can just start my new job. It reminds me of how I had to wait so long at my last place employment for an internal job move. I waited about 3 months - it is hard not to lose motivation when you know you are moving on. At least at my last job, I was excited about training someone else. I really liked my replacement - in fact we are friends.

This time....I don't dislike her. She just wouldn't be my first choice. I have no say in the matter, but I think it isn't the best move for the morale of the group. That's a different story.

It's going to be a little weird. Like I will still interact with everyone, but on a different level. Even still, I am happy. I will miss some things - like I do like production (most of the time) especially remotes, so I will miss that. But I am so happy to give up billing - it is becoming more of a hassle than ever before. There are too many people involved in the process and its becoming a bit too political. I think I will miss the laughter and joking around the most - it certainly helps the day go by faster.

A lot of strange things are happening there, but if I can get another year or two out of them, I believe that will be enough time to get the experience I want. I just hope I can keep a low profile and stay out of the politics. All I want to do is make my 6.

I got caught up in a little drama with the psychopath - there's only one and I ended up going to HR. She was upset with me and made sure everyone knew why (even though she didn't know what she was talking about) if she had asked me, and was only slightly rational, then she would have known how the situation occurred. First of all it was minor and not even something a normal person would get upset about - the only reason I got mad is that she was running around telling people I dropped the ball...and I just can't let that go unchallenged.

The truth is I have never liked her - she is mean-spirited and narcissistic on an unparalleled level. I am in awe of how highly she sees herself. She is constantly saying hateful things about other people and shamelessly promoting herself. And some of these people are her "friends". I could never trust a person who regards their "friends" that way. And after all the trash she talked about me, she tried to have a girlfriend conversation with me - I don't have the plastic act down yet, so basically what you see is what you get. And that meant - no girlfriend conversation - civil yes, girlfriend no... forget about it. But I will be professional and do my job. It is unfortunate that she was definitely one of the reasons I considered leaving the company.

But out of all the craziness that goes on and there is a lot of it, I still think there are a few good reasons to stick it out. Perhaps one of them is that I will have a new job, that they basically created for me so I would stay. It is a totally lateral move, but I think it will give me the experience I want as opposed to what I am doing now. If it doesn't, then I will reconsider in a few months - no big deal.

This Better Be Worth It

So Tuesday I am going to visit the tax man. I am so hoping this whole home ownership thing is all the rage. I guess I will find out. I haven't even attempted to plug in any numbers. There was too much going on last year to attempt to do my own taxes. There were the 1099s, the part time work, the part year state taxes and the home ownership thing. What a whirlwind 2006! I hope it pays off. I am always looking for a tax shelter.

But if I can write off as much as the number on my interest statement, that would rock.

My Not So Totally Awesome Weekend

I had all these awesome weekend plans, but my body had something else in mind. I was planning on going out for drinks on Friday, but instead I came home and went to sleep. I was going to go on my jog on Saturday, which I attempted, but the jog quickly changed to a walk which was then followed with tea, cough drops, nyquil and sleep. Even still I was holding out hope that I could go to my co-workers house warming. It was a party with an 80s theme and I have to admit I was pretty excited about it. I haven't seen his place yet, but I remember when he first started looking, soI was pretty bummed as I downed a few vitamin C tablets, soup and OJ....this can't be happening again. And today, I thought perhaps I would go get some much needed spiritual recharging, but I never even made it to the shower... I wanted to go see Amazing Grace, but I have been playing solitaire and watching movies and sleeping all day. I feel like such a waste of space, but at least some of my favorites came on today. My Fair Lady, Boomerang, My Cousin Vinny - since I had to be stuck at home sick, at least I have something to watch. And I got caught up with all my DVR shows. Wow, I feel like such a loser...

Speaking of loser, I am still in first place in the Biggest Loser contest. There are three weeks left, so I just need to keep losing weight, which has been expedited by constant exercise, which could be compromised by lying in the bed sick....so this has to end now! I have to win. I am obsessed with winning - just like I am obssessed with finding this book which is apparently out of print. It is called Power! How to Get It, How to Use It by Michael Korda. I have been obssessed with it ever since my hair dresser told me about it. I love him by the way - each visit is like a therapy session and salon session wrapped up into one.

My thoughts as always are all over the place. I am upset that my brother lost his job. I want to help him, but I want him to want to help himself first. I wouldn't even mind (much) if he moved in....but he would have to be totally committed to getting himself together and he'd have to be responsible. I am also concerned about my cousin, he is more like a big brother to me and he is ill and the doctors can't identify exactly what is wrong with him. That's pretty frustrating. My other cousin is going back to Iraq for the third time in March. I won't even go there.

I held a baby on Thursday and my heart just melted. I helped changed his diaper - oh he was so cute. I get all gaga over cute dogs - what's the matter with me? Must be hormones.

I had a dream I had a daughter. The father was somewhat of a mystery to me - I know - pretty scandalous - glad it was just a dream. Come to think of it, everytime I have a dream about my offspring, the father is a big unknown. Anyway, she reminded me of my cousin Amanda - she was very engaging. When she entered a room, I completely disappeared - all eyes were on her. I wonder if all mothers experience that. I wasn't hating or anything, but I was just wondering when someone was going to ask how I was doing. So much for that.

Does my dreaming about having a kid mean I am ready for diaperdom?

Walking Histamine

I am indeed a walking histamine. I must be allergic to almost every season and substance known to man. Yesterday was the worst - well recently - there have been worse. But at least time, I discovered the cause. I got some new body lotion (which I am glad they didn't test on animals, because I would feel sorry for them). And I slathered it all over me...went to the movies and was completely miserable. Think Will Smith from Hitch (fortunately I didn't put any on my face, so it wasn't visible to anyone). But I did break out all over it while watching Because I Said So, which made it a doubly miserable experience. (The movie was extremely disappointing).

All I can say is thank god for Benadryl. After running a couple of errands, I took a nice shower and popped the little pink pill and the next morning all was well. It's just winter now, I can't wait to see what my histamines have in store for me this spring.

Fairy Godmother

I was really excited when my friend asked me to be the godmother of her son. I love her so much and I was actully pretty flattered. After what seemed like an eternity, her son was born on February 1, 2007. They had to induce labor so he is couple of weeks early. We (me and my sig. other) went to see him on Thursday and he is absoulutely beautiful. I can't wait to be able to hold him. He is in an incubator for now, but he is now breathing on his own and seems to be doing well.

The thing is, I am nervous. I love babies and I loved him before he was even born, but... what is a god mother supposed to do? Is there a list of guidelines - an instruction manual, anything? I looked online but it seemed like all I could find was info pertaining to the Catholic faith. None of us are Catholic, so it has to be more to it than that.

So I have been thinking...about the word - Godmother. It seems almost like a guardian angel of sorts. So the first thing I will do is pray for him and his new family. I will pray for his safety, survival and strength. I will pray that he grows to be healthy, happy and loved. I will pray that he learns to live life to the fullest, that he is faithful and not fearful.

I think constant prayer takes care of the God part. So the mother part is the other thing. I want to be there for him - at his communion, and birthdays and a lot of his "first" moments. I want to be a source of support for his mother and father. I want to be able to teach him things. I want to be a part of his life. I want what is best for him.

I have heard that if something were to ever happen to the parents, then the godparents assume responsibility for the child. Naturally, I hope that nothing ever happens to them, but I am certainly willing to treat him as if he were my own.

I hope I will be a good Godmother - it will be glimpse into the future.