The Love Walk

Lately, God has been talking to me about walking in love. I admit that I have had my less than loving moments and thoughts of what would Jesus do had not entered my mind. I have been in reactive mode, instead of proactive mode.

I Cor 13 came to mind and I wasn't even at a wedding. I have been so wrapped up in protecting myself from rejection and potential abuse that I haven't been able to love.

I can not do it on my own. It is easy to love those who love me back, but those who don't.... God will have to guide me on that one.

I think Hurricane Katrina has changed my perspective a bit. My heart goes out to those people - my best friend lives in that area - and while I know she is prepared for anything - some of her neighbors are not. That is why I am going to make a donation and find out other ways I can help out.

Low Riders

Today I became one of the people I swore I would never be. I am a victim - a victim of fashion. Today I wore my new pair of mid-rise jeans. I even did the booty check before I left home - just to make sure I wasn't exposed. What I forgot to do was check the booty while sitting. I thought nothing of it until I chatting away with a male co-worker who casually informed me that I needed to cover up - although he did think the tiger prints were nice. How embarassing! My shirt of course rose up when I sat down and my jeans revealed my underwear (at least I wasn't wearing granny panties). I am actually glad he told me about it since he was the first person I spoke to today. I ended up wearing my jean jacket all day so I could avoid giving everyone a peep show.

When will this trend end?

Fantasy Football

For the first time, I signed up for Fantasy Football this year. We had our draft last Tuesday and I must admit I am already addicted. Who knew I become anymore obssessed with football that I already was? I think I have a decent team, and I just can't wait for the season to start.

Fantasy makes you look at football through different eyes - because your loyalty shifts from your favorite team to your players. To prevent myself from ever cheering for teams like Tennessee, since they are in my opinion Jax's biggest rival, I didn't draft anyone from their team. It was hard not to draft some of the Jaguars too, I was tempted several times, but I held back.

Overall I am pretty happy with my team. If I could, I would get stronger QBs and possibly a better defense. I am just hoping Todd Heap and Jerry Porter will stay healthy.

I have:
Aaron Brooks, NO - QB
Ben Roethlisburger, PITT - QB
Drew Bledsoe, DAL - QB

LaDanian Tomlimson, SD - RB
Ahman Green, GB - RB
TJ Duckett, ATL -RB

Terrell Owens - PHI - WR
Darrell Jackson - SEA - WR
Jerry Porter - OAK - WR
Antonio Bryant - CLE - WR
Amani Toomer - NYG - WR

Todd Heap - BAL - TE
Ryan Longwell - GB - K
Jason Hanson - DET - K

IND - Defense
JAX - Defense

VA Beach

This was a great past 3 days. I took Friday off and that couldn't have come a minute too soon. I spent the first part of the day on Friday at the spa getting a hot stone massage (which was fantastic) and a pedicure - which is it's own taste of heaven. Then went to VA Beach for a little R&R. Traffic was horrendous on the way down, but even that was ok. Saturday was overcast and chilly but I still hung out on the beach anyway. A couple of friends came down and hung out, but inevitably she wanted to go to the clubs. That's cool and all (not really my scene) but the as I discovered Friday night - my driver's license was in my purse... the purse that it is in DC! So I knew it would be a problem, which it was. I didn't care much. Drinking in a bar with a bunch a twenty year olds is not really my idea of a great night out anyway, but for her sake I asked the bouncer if he would let me in without an i.d. secretly hoping he would say no, which he did. There were police all up and down the street. Ever the persistent one, she wanted to try a different club, but I had to put my foot down. There was no way I was going to get rejected all night to do something that I really didn't want to do anyway. We endd up going to a 24 hour mini-golf place, whichI thought was pretty fun.

Later that night, I saw something I'd never seen before. The club that I had attempted to get into was still going strong. But just as we were walking by, the door opened and the bouncers were carrying this young woman face down out the door and they just tossed her outside and she crawled away crying. She eventually balled up on the sidewalk and the police shoed us away. It was almost like a scene from Fresh Prince when they used to throw Jazz out of the house - it was just really strange.

The sun came up Sunday morning. That made my weekend. I was up in a flash and headed to soak up some rays. Rode bikes up and down the boardwalk, got in the water and then laid out in the sun. That is really all I wanted to do and perhaps play a little volleyball. That made it all worth it. I could have done that all day. I must go again.

Isn't That Nice?

So Much for Good Christian Values.....

Televangelist Calls for Chavez' Death Tue Aug 23, 6:20 AM ET


Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson suggested on-air that American operatives assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to stop his country from becoming "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism."

"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said Monday on the Christian Broadcast Network's "The 700 Club."

"We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator," he continued. "It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

Chavez has emerged as one of the most outspoken critics of President Bush, accusing the United States of conspiring to topple his government and possibly backing plots to assassinate him. U.S. officials have called the accusations ridiculous.

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it," Robertson said. "It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war ... and I don't think any oil shipments will stop."

Robertson, 75, founder of the Christian Coalition of America and a former presidential candidate, accused the United States of failing to act when Chavez was briefly overthrown in 2002.

Electronic pages and a message to a Robertson spokeswoman were not immediately returned Monday evening.

Venezuela is the fifth largest oil exporter and a major supplier of oil to the United States. The CIA estimates that U.S. markets absorb almost 59 percent of Venezuela's total exports.

Venezuela's government has demanded in the past that the United States crack down on Cuban and Venezuelan "terrorists" in Florida who they say are conspiring against Chavez.

Robertson has made controversial statements in the past. In October 2003, he suggested that the State Department be blown up with a nuclear device. He has also said that feminism encourages women to "kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

___

On the Net:

Christian Broadcast Network: http://www.cbn.com/700club/




Copyright © 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Photograph

Can someone take a good picture of me? I need a recent photo - where I am not in a group of 10 of my closest friends ;o

Around the Block

Truthfully, I am hardly ever home. Work is too crazy for me to have a single coherent thought without interruption, so that is why I haven't been writing as much.

I try to go to the gym at east 3x a week, although that little bout with the mini-flu or whatever it was put a wrinkle in those plans last week. But I am back on it.

Seems like the only time I write is Sunday morning and I feel almost slightly guilty because I am not at church. I am on hiatus from church for awhile. I will admit that lately I have been feeling a need to become more connected to God. I am not sure church is the answer right now.

I went to a birthday party for one of my sistah friends yesterday. She turned 49 and barely looks 30 something. She is so vivacious and an inspiration. She is a nurse by day and actress/director by night. She spoke about how each of us touched her life, but she is inspirational as well.

Later I went to Game Night with my DSC peeps. That was fun. I love celebrity bowl -just seeing people act out the clues is hilarious. I felt so inspired by Susanna - she is training for a marathon and ran 17 miles earlier that day. I am still in awe of that. How is that humanly possible?

I wonder if there are any quarter marathons - that seems attainable for me. Maybe I will shoot for like 7 miles or something. Even that right now seems a little daunting. I was never a long distance runner. I could run short distances pretty fast (past tense) - but endurance always kicked me in the pants. I wonder if that is genetic - because even when I was really fit, long distances always gave me grief.

I have a television show idea - actually 2 or 3, but the one I am referring to - I need to transfer it from my brian to paper. I was thinking about the production side, becuase that's what I do....and I am trying to figure out how to producet his show as cost effectively as possible. It will involve a lot of locations and set ups. The good thing it is has more a newsmagazine feel, so there won't be a lot of lighting - I think for most of two person crew would suffice, except for the studio stuff. Ahhh, I have drifted in to work mode.

I must go to the gym and clear my head.

5.7 Days Left

Until I am at the beach. I am so looking forward to R&R weekend. I think I should have one every quarter.

This time I am going to VA Beach and it just so happens they are having a Soul Beach Music Festival. I am hoping to get there a little early before the festivities start, so I can have a little bit of sand and sun before everyone else gets there.

It feels so great to NOT have an agenda or itenirary. Just do whatever strikes the fancy or don't do anything at all.

Life is great when you have something to look forward to. Next Year is Martha's Vineyard. I still want to do Niagara Falls and possibly just hang out in Toronto for a little while. I am thinking of trying to plan a ski weekend - I think that would be a blast. Clearly, I live for vacation ;o

Thank God for AC

I had forgotten how wonderful having air conditioning could be until it went out on one of the hottest days of the year. How nice to have it back.

Fortunately, I spent most of the day in Georgetown basking in the glory of tax free week and then later at Luray Caverns - which is a cool 54 degrees. I didn't get home until much later in the evening, which made it better, but it was a rough night.

On another note, football is back - hooray!

Keep it Movin

It didn't work out. I don't want to explore why it didn't work out - I have already made peace with it. Just because I have the ability to have a civil conversation and even share a laugh or two with you doesn't mean - anything. Sometimes you don't realize what you have until it's gone, but then it is too late. You can't press "undo", so you just have to move on and try not to make the same mistakes.

It has taken a lot of work for me to re-gain my sense of self and my confidence. I am content- to be single (right now) and to be ok with who I am - warts and all. I am on a good path. It wasn't easy to get here. It was scary, lonely and often disheartening and it took a LONG time. But I have come to far - I see the progress I have made and there is no way I am turning back.

So yes, we had some good times - that was cool. But it didn't work. I am done with assigning blame - it doesn't even matter at this point. I know what I want and I am content to wait for it.

Needy Need Not Apply

If you need anything - anything at all - a deck, an edit suite, some coffee, a shoulder to lean on - anything, don't ask me. The truth is - I don't care. I don't care why you are behind schedule - I will just bill you for it. I don't care that you are hungry or thirsty - order your own damn lunch. I don't care if you are emotionally spent - are you paying me the going rate for therapists to listen to all that crap?

I guess there are a few things that drives me nuts about my job - things that I didn't know would be part of my job - like answering phones and ordering lunch and bringing people snacks. I hate answering the phone when it isn't for me. I had a temp receptionist job for 1 week and I thought I was going to go nuts. Ordering lunch for people? If I wanted to be a PA, I would have applied for that. I have already been a PA and I didn't like it then. I never knew how to make coffee until now - I probably still don't - heck I don't drink it.

The thing is - when you work for a smaller company there's a lot more crap work and not as many resources. It's cool when you can make it all come together, but sometimes getting there is a real pain.

Honestly, most of my clients are cool. Most of them are flexible and easy going. I think the thing that makes me nuts the abundance of work and expectations is sometimes beyond reasonable. It's impossible to answer phones, schedule sessions, do billing and run around the building for random miscellaneous stuff simultaneously.

It is unfortunate for me that I have the first desk, people usually stop there first, even if I am not the person they need to talk to. The trick is to figure out how to get your work done in between constant interruptions.

I am not sure how long I can do this. My boss wants someone for at least 2 years - I think I can give him a year, maybe a year and a quarter. I have already done this job at another company for a year (granted it was a lot easier), so my timetable is a little different. I think I would be really pissed off after two years - not sure I am made for a job like this.

There are parts of it that I really like - I think the problem is - it is really two jobs. There is the management part - which I like and there is the services part - which I hate. I will figure it all out.

I think right now, I just need a vacation. A few days to not be concerned about anyone else's needs except mine. I have a comp day coming up , but I might have to extend it to two days, so I can have a 4 day weekend. I have already booked a hot stone massage, pedicure and a hotel suite in VA Beach for the occasion. I need to re-connect with my spirit - to rediscover myself and just have some rejuvenation time. I can't wait.

A Little Awkward

I went to a barbecue this past weekend and I must admit it was a little weird. It was a work thing and it was cool and all. But most of the people who came were married with kids. It was neat to watch all the kids and guess who they belonged to. That was actually pretty easy - most of them looked just like their fathers. Maybe that is nature's way of making sure daddy sticks around ;)

It was just a little awkward because everyone had spouse stories and kid stories and had neither. I am ok with that - fortunately there were other single women there as well, which made it a little easier.

I held a baby though - I usually try to avoid them - so I won't feel how I am feeling now. She was the cutest thing. Black curly hair and big brown eyes. Shoe could have easily been mine. She slobbed over me and then smiled. How could I resist that? I wanted to take her with me.

I also went to Chau's housewarming which was fun. She has a great place in the city. It's so cute - I just love it. I am in love with the island in the kitchen.

Looked at condos this weekend too - they were in Falls Church and won't be ready until 2007. They were really nice, but not sure how I feel about Falls Church.

I also went to the Nats game with a few Discovery peeps. It was fun to hang out again and in between all that I managed to unpack a few boxes.

Work has been quite the challenge. Sometimes I feel like I am doing fine and then I am blindsided. This past time it was some diva stuff. I don't handle divas well - I am the only diva in my world (that and a couple of my girls) so all that drama was completely unwarranted. But not everyone will like me and that's ok. We will work it out.

MsJ in the City

So it has been awhile since I wrote. Between work and moving, I have barely had time for anything else.

Moving to the city was so worth it! My commute went from 1.25 hours to about 20 minutes. I, now officially have taxation without representation. I suspect that that was the case even before I moved to the District, but I digress.

I also now have a roommate. We are actually good friends - I hope we stay that way. I really didn't want a roommate, but if I had to have one, I am glad it is someone I know.

I must admit that a couple of days before I moved in, I walked around my old place half naked - just because I could. It's not even something I normally do, I just felt compelled to do it since I won't be able to in a long while. Probably a little weird, but I am ok with it.

I love DC so far. I admit I am still looking for the Target - I am, afterall, a surburbanite.