It didn't work out. I don't want to explore why it didn't work out - I have already made peace with it. Just because I have the ability to have a civil conversation and even share a laugh or two with you doesn't mean - anything. Sometimes you don't realize what you have until it's gone, but then it is too late. You can't press "undo", so you just have to move on and try not to make the same mistakes.
It has taken a lot of work for me to re-gain my sense of self and my confidence. I am content- to be single (right now) and to be ok with who I am - warts and all. I am on a good path. It wasn't easy to get here. It was scary, lonely and often disheartening and it took a LONG time. But I have come to far - I see the progress I have made and there is no way I am turning back.
So yes, we had some good times - that was cool. But it didn't work. I am done with assigning blame - it doesn't even matter at this point. I know what I want and I am content to wait for it.
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