The Dealbreaker

I am just not sure where to draw the line. I am not even sure how I feel about that. I never contemplated it before on a serious level. I think I want to get to know you, but maybe there is no point. I was so excited when I saw you standing there waiting to talk to me. Perhaps it was a mixture of feelings: I needed an escape from the cigar smoke and those boyish good looks didn't hurt, and maybe, just maybe you were the first person who I actually wanted to talk to the entire night. I was actually ready to go before you showed up. You are so polite - check, I am a sucker for manners. And you are from the South - check,....even better, you are gainfully employed - check, you are not a drunk, check. This is incredible 4 checks in less than 30 minutes. Most guys are eliminated in the first minute of conversation, if conversation even occurs. BUT, you live in NJ. Disappointment, but I like you...it's only 2.5 hours away, I think. Maybe every other weekend or something, we could hang out - Baltimore one weekend, NJ the next - it could work.... what am I thinking - I just met you. You called to make sure I got home safe - ok this could really work.

So I get all excited about the idea of uh (well, I don't know), the idea of something (as opposed to nothing) and then you tell me. You're divorced. What? You have 2 kids... Whoa... that's heavy. That's grown folk stuff. I don't know how I feel about that. I was so floored I couldn't even ask the questions I wanted to. That's a lot of baggage. I don't really even mind the kids so much.... I just have this thing. I want to be a first wife. Maybe it's from watching The Joy Luck Club, or maybe that is how I thought it was supposed to be. And even still - I am contemplating - something. There is something about you. I think we could have a lot of fun together....

But just to be clear, I am still in sorta/kinda land with someone else. The one that defies logic. We still haven't "talked".