Natural Relaxer

I just can't decide. To relax or not to relax? My hair has been natural for so long, I forgot why I stopped getting relaxers in the first place. It wasn't for a deep, philosophical reason. I don't think it had anything to do with the fact that natural dos seemed to garner more acceptance in the South at the time. Nor was it because I wanted to get in touch with my blackness. I remember at the time there seemed to be a huge controversy over relaxer vs natural. A lot of sistas sporting naturals seemed to think that they had a patent on "blackness" just because they didn't use chemicals. Apparently, if you used chemicals in your hair, you were trying to assimilate and clearly you weren't proud of you are and even more - you didn't even know or appreciate your heritage. Basically you were trying to be white.

I never wanted to be lumped into this category of women simply because I had a natural. I believe it is a personal choice and one is not necesarrily culturally superior to the other. I think it is wonderful to have options.

As I recall, I think my choice to go natural had a lot more to do with the fact that I didn't have the means or desire to maintain a relaxer at the time. The upkeep is easier, but style wise I am a bit more limited. Humidity can destroy a cute look within minutes.

But now, I want more options. I like my natural hair sometimes, but sometimes I want it to be straight, sleek, modern... I wish there was a way to have that without relaxing,, so I could be natural or straight whenever I want.

Although now I can probably afford the upkeep of a relaxer, I hate beauty salons. Actually I hate having to be a salon for 5+ hours at a time. Plus if I got a relaxer, I would have to fix my hair all the time. Now, I can just make a huge curly ponytail and it is still presentable.

What am I to do?