My Not So Glam Life

So I am not as big a wuss as I thought. Actually I just think before I speak and I have to be really sure that I want what I request, because I just might get it. Such is the drama of my job. I must be maturing or slightly crazy or both. I am actually turning down more money, a more glam title (although the position itself is not very glam) to consider taking a totally unglamorous position, (even more unlgam than what I have now) and a possibly sucky title with all the crap that comes with that and yet I think I want to do it - because I think in the long term it will pay off. I just have to stay focused on what I want out of it and get as much as I give. I am all about the win/win, so I think I can make it work. I don't think it could be any worse than where I am right now. There was a precise moment during our departmental meeting where the discussion of this stupid software waned on and on that I just can't do it much longer. I am leaving it in God's hands. I am near the breaking point, but I know I am supposed to wait. So as attractive as this offer might be, I can't take it - because it is not for me. It is nice to feel wanted. I even heard something about a signing bonus - they don't have my price yet - but I know if I wanted to - they would give me what I wanted. But honestly I cannot committ to another job that I only have a half-hearted interest in - the half being my compensation.

If it works out that I get a new boss, I think the job at least in its infancy would be totally unglam. I alays thought I was supposed to have a fabulous life.... somehow I don't think making coffee runs qualifies as fabulous. But whatever, I may not have to do that - but I wouldn't even mind if I did - that is how much I need a change. That can't be worse than working for someone without a clue or spine. It was brought up to me by several people that I could have my supervisor's job... hmmmm, I kinda do a lot of it now, I would do it well, if I didn't have to my job to do as well. However, I have no desire to have it - it is even farther away from the ultimate goal- though it does have a fancy title and hence a greater future market value. But there's a lot of crap that comes with it, and I don't really handle petty stuff well. I actually don't think I would have to deal with that, because I have no tolerance for it, so I think people would resolve their own issues and leave me out of it.

It's mindboggling to me how so much minutia can be so time consuming -and why do I have to hear about it. I literally walked away in the middle of a conversation, because I didn't see anything of value in the dicussion. It was a complaint about me - which valid or not, I owned up to it, and the chips can fall where they may. I have no aplogies to offer. The complaint would have been important to me if I perhaps was an octopus, but since I had to prioritize my activities for that span of time and was not able to accommodate and cover for all the people who called out sick that day - I suppose I should feel...something - yeah I don't and when the complaint was mentioned to me, the supervisor should have had my back and explained that I was literally covering for 3 people at the time all while trying to do my own job. But did he say that - or better yet - did he try to help out? How could I have respect for a jerk like that?

I would never hang someone out to dry like that under those circumstances. I guess that's the loyalty - and oh yeah backbone in me. A simple explanation would have sufficed and if they still had issues then oh well - they can take it up with the big man. I am just one person.

Speaking of unglam - I am currently the biggest loser. I have been the weekly leader for 2 weeks straight now. My clothes are fitting looser - which is great - but the process has been....I've been kicking butt. The hardest part has been getting past the 3pm chocholate craving that happens everyday and the day after I step up my workout game.

This running thing- well I am slowest runner in the history of Nike's. But I have been faithful to it...and I really dig the post runner's high. I had a little issue with my knee but I think I will be just fine.