Diplomacy Anyone?

I hate it when I want to express my feelings when I am angry or annoyed, but can't quite find the words to say. Let me clarify - I have words - often sandwiched between expletives, but I often let those words remain as thoughts. I feel the need to expand my vocabulary so that I can channel my feelings a little better.

There is a certain freedom that comes with expressing yourself - but I was so agitated that I was sure it was going to sound much worse than it is. But now that I think about it, I am not sure what the harm would be. I am the one he is attempting to inconvenience. I am not the one being inconsiderate.

So that's the other thing - I hate that sometimes I can't think of the right thing to say until well after the moment has passed. So...take that then - I think after the person is long gone.

So here is what is bothering me. LAST YEAR, Super Producer (SP) was inquiring about editing software, which my roommate just happens to have. Since I am always willing to help people out, I told him he could borrow it. So I dropped off the disk to him one afternoon.

Even then, SP was acting extremely skeptical and needy. We compressed all the files to one DVD, but I assured him that we tested it and it worked just fine. So time went by and occasionally, SP would call and give me the third degree about the software. Um, there is no law that says you have to use it. I rushed and gave it to SP because I thought he needed it then.

So a couple of weeks ago, SP called the house after 10pm. My roommate is a lot more understanding of this and a tad more gregarious. I tend to check the caller id and I won't answer if I don't feel like talking (which is often the case) So he answers, and then hands the phone to me. Um...this is my time, plus I had just gotten home. So it is SP and he has tried to install the program, but has had a couple of issues and needs some assistance.

Um, did I mention that I gave him the software almost a year ago? Did I mention that it is now after 10pm on a school night? Why the emergency now? WTF? Ok, so my patience is being tested because I feel he is accusing me of something and that he actually expects me to take my time and walk him through this after 10pm on a school night...I couldn't really help him anyway, so I let my roommate talk to him.

As it turns out, he needs software to unzip the files - but neither me or my roommate were willing or mentally able to deal with walking him through it that night. We were both really annoyed that we tried to do SP a favor and we felt like it was coming back to bite us in the backside.

So email addresses were exchanged and I think my roomie sent him a link to get the software. So SP has tried to contact my roomie who has not responded yet. So SP called me yesterday at work to find out about his software and mentioned that my roomie had not contacted him as of yet. This is when I felt my blood pressure rise. I wasn't sure how to say - wtf? How can you be so inconsiderate? How can you actually have the balls to expect not only me, but my roommate to help you at your beck and call, when you have had almost a year to resolve this? Instead, I told him that my roomie has a busy schedule and is not readily available.

I found that troubling that I couldn't say what I really feeling. First of all, I am not so sure SP should be using software that he can't figure out how to install. What next, is SP going to expect my roomie or me to show him how to use it? I think it's the whole "no good deed goes unpunished" thing at work.

So as I write this, I think I will call him and just tell him how I feel...or not...