Boomerang

Lately I've been feeling like my life has been an ongoing drama. Part of it is definitely self created and perpetuated - I will admit that. But a lot of it lately has been beyond my self control.

So the ex texted me a few times and I did call him back eventually because quite frankly I wanted to get it over with. Talking to him was something I dreaded for so long and I just wanted to not think about it anymore. He had nothing to say that was of interest to me. I am really not sure I got the point. He wanted to know why I dislike him (as if I have that kind of time). He recalled that I managed to be friends with my exes and wondered why that wasn't the case with us. I felt my blood pressure rising but I refused to get into a replay of our misbegotten relationship.

I said simply that we don't have anything in common and I see no reason why we need to be in communication. That's the most honest answer I can offer. I have no desire to be anything to him. He told me about his last relationship - how perfect this new lady was for him. She cooked, blah, blah, blah.... all the stuff I stopped doing. He said that she wanted to take it to the next level, but he broke it off with her. So, let me get this straight - you have the perfect woman for you. She wants to be with you and you break it off and for some unknown reason you are telling me about it.

I am not sure why that information would have been important to me. I guess it goes to show that not even "perfect" is good enough for him. I was far from perfect and I was more than aware of that. I have come to terms with my imperfections and it's a package deal - you get the good with the bad.

So I am like oh, really or some sort of non-descript verbiage, hopefully sending the message that I don't care. He then tells me that he's changed. Almost sounds like the person I could have liked. He actually likes to do things now. When we were together, he never wanted to do things together - getting him to go the movies was a chore and that's pretty basic. I often ended up going out by myself or as a third wheel or fifth wheel - which was just enough to be annoying. Anytime a man asked I was stupid enough to say yes I have a boyfriend and when asked where he was I would feel even worse....ahhh good times.

So that being said I am glad that is over. So the conversation ended again with me saying I don't see any reason for us to talk.

In the middle of all this I mentioned that my mom was in the hospital which is infinitely more important than my conversation with him and I actually was thinking about her during the entire conversation.

In my mind, there is nothing more to say. He sends me a text. "Can you pick me up from the airport on Friday?" Um, why in the world would I do that? That would require not only talking to you, but seeing you....my response was that I might be out of town which was true - if my mom didn't seem like she was improving I was planning on flying home. So his follow up text was something like: "well maybe we can meet for lunch" I haven't responded to that. I mean seriously....

I was actually hoping he was calling to tell me he was getting married. I had my congratulations speech preprared and I thought I even say a prayer for the bride to be (she'd need it)...but it was just him fishing. I don't expect him to give up. I don't know what he wants - I think it would be egotistical on my part to assume he wants me back. It would also be silly on his part.

I wasn't even planning on blogging about this, so I blog about the other stuff later....